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Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
 Posted - 15 May 2006 : 01:17:38
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Hi Mikki,
where is the proof to say Mwanga of Buganda (Uganda), 1884-1897 was gay? And at that time Gay wasn't apart of the English vocabulary to discribe homosexuality, it meant to be happy.And who wrote about this king anyway are you sure they weren't projecting their own sexual upon him.
Peace
Sister Omega |
Peace
Sister Omega |
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Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 01:37:18
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Jambo,
Just a general point about the word help. This term is used with the expectation of getting something back in return or with strings attached to it. If the mother of the child thinks her daughter would do better to have private tuition at home rather than staying after school there must be some reason behind it. Jambo did you ask her the reasons why she thought it was unsuitable option for her child to stay after school for extention classes?
If the mother has a genuine desire for her child to get the apprioprate support to suit her child's educational needs then their must be a degree of trust built up between the donor and recipient.
After all the child's mother knows what's in the best interest of the child. Just because the donor has the financial means to assist the child's education doesn't mean that they have a right to undermine parental authority.
If the donor doesn't want to pay for the child's private tuition because they distrust the parent. Then the donor is equally entitled to withdraw their financial support. The relationship between the donor in this instance is not in the best interest of the child.
After all when one door closes another will open. If I were the parent I would say "Thanks, but no thanks." If some stranger thought they could undermine my position as a parent, just because they could flash the cash. After all having a wad of money doesn't make one a superior human being.
Peace
Sister Omega. |
Peace
Sister Omega |
Edited by - Sister Omega on 15 May 2006 02:50:25 |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 07:48:06
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Mikki, I agree....homosexuality has existed throughout time and place. It just depends how socially acceptable it is at the time as to how much it is on open view and discussed.
MOST sexual predators are STRAIGHT men.
I find the way this discussion is going VERY frightening in its anti gay stance. Obviously Gambia has a long way to go with gay rights!
To think that tourisms is responsible for bringing homosexuality to
Gambia is laughable. Beneath contempt!
Tourism might be responsible for freeing peoples attitudes a little, so they can be themselves. In Senegambia I have seen a few openly gay gambians. Before tourism they would have had nowhere to go to be freely gay. In uk it was the same in the 1950s and before. Lots of gay people lived dificult and tourtures lives. It is still not an easy life for lots of people, but it is getting better with more public understanding and rights in law.
We now have same sex unions and gay people have the right to adopt children. What do Gambians on Bantaba think to that?! LOL!!!
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 08:00:39
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On the original point of helping an individual family.
I know it is Gambian tradition to help the whole community instead of singling out individuals.
But as an ordinary individual it is not always possible to take on the responsibility of a big project.
So the question is, is it better to do nothing or to help on a 1 :1 basis someone you have made a personal connection with?
The only string attached to the help I give is that the child goes to school. I dont tell the family how to spend the money. That is the parents choice. One parent said she wanted to buy her little boy a bike because he had been so good at school. I said that is up to you, I hope he enjoys it. She checked with me...but I wouldnt interfere in her choice. She is the parent. I am the sponsor/guardian.
USUALLY I dont talk alot about my sponsorship in Gambia. I am not a 'big headed' person. Believe it or not at home I am modest, shy, quiet and introvert   REALLY.HONEST!
On Bantaba I have been drawn into discussing the help I give. Sometimes it is to explain my interest in Gambia and sometimes it is to defend myself.
If anyone on bantaba is interested in helping an individual child I have several families details of children that need help. You can contact me on leicesterbev@hotmail.com |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 08:32:50
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to all of you listen to the facts, i did not offer the help but was asked for it.
i did not think to ask the mother first because it was the school teacher who draw my attention to the child needing extra help. It was never my intention to help the child further. I normally pay for one year of school fees and books.
i asked the mother what she wanted she said for the daughter to have help at home. My problem with that is this if I paid would the daughter receive the help. I thought the mother might be getting ripped off. think about it. I did not want to get involved personally because i think it is wrong to make a promise you cannot keep.
On my next trip I will pay the schools fees for the September 2006 year in one go. that way if I never go back to gambia nobobdy is expecting me to pay school fees.
i did go to the dept of education as you suggested but they explained that what i was doing was okay but that i should work with the schools as they have examples of children being sponsored more than once.
sister omega, babygirl and others on the bantaba I am hurt that you think i did not have the child's interest at heart. i take your comments on board and will not speak to the child. REMEMBER THIS THE TEACHERS APPROACHED ME.
To Njucks, Galo Sowe and other thank you for the feed back, your comments have helped me to make my decision.
She is doing well, very happy well mannered and bright. The teachers wanted the best for.
Gambiaeve, Toubob1020 and babygirl, why is the forum hijacked.
I HAVE LEFT THE BANTABA.
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 09:08:09
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Jambo, i can understand your reaction.
Sister Omega, where ever did you read that the word 'help' has to do with expecting something in return or strings attached are even wanted?? The only 'strings attached' i can see happening are that, after you helped someone out with some problem once, they come back to you again and again because the roof keeps leaking, the car keeps needing repairs, a naming ceremony needs to be financed or whatever...
How and why did homosexuality come up in this discussion? Terribly off topic! I has been discussed before and if anyone of you does not believe now that homosexuality is as old as mankind and of all colours, then you will never believe it and there is no point discussing it. Did this king of Uganda live from 1884 till 1897? Then he wouldn't have had much time to be sexually active, homo or otherwise! If those were the years of his reign, then it's another matter.
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When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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babygirl
United Kingdom
89 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 09:36:48
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jambo i have never sed you didnt have the childs interest at heart.
i stated that you should of spoken to the mother before parting with any money. as a mother i would of expected to be spoke to about my child before any decisions were reached.
As i also stated as individuals we are asked for this n that and some people dont like to refuse. which is what i believe has happened with you.
you were asked, you gave without question, when approached for more tuition monies you felt as if maybe you were being taken advantage of?
I do understand your feelings totally. |
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mikki
7 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 09:40:16
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Hi
To Sister Omega
You just have to go to google and type in "King Mwanga"
Like this:
"Earliest and undisputed records of homosexuality (for africa) are in the courtyards of Buganda's monarchy. The young regents who were staying in the palace serving the king where his lovers until the coming of the conservative wing of Christianity in 1877. The young boys were converted to Christianity and were encouraged to stop all homosexual acts with king Mwanga, sparking off mass martyrdom in 1886 at Namugongo."
So here itīs was the white man there want to stop the homosexuality, mebye becourse itīs was a writher name Kertbeny from Austria there in 1868 for the first time give the male to male love the name homosexuality.
I think that it is time for Africans to bury the tired myth that homosexuality is "unAfrican".
To gambiabev
I agree in the most  but we dont have to talk about gays rights, but humans right in generaly
"Freedom from all forms of discrimination regardless of sex, gender, sexual orientation, age, race, social class, religion, or physical and emotional disability."
( it is from number 4 in the 14th World Congress of Sexology, August 26, 1999 )
http://www.worldsexology.org/about_sexualrights.asp
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 09:42:47
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
Jambo, i can understand your reaction.
Sister Omega, where ever did you read that the word 'help' has to do with expecting something in return or strings attached are even wanted?? The only 'strings attached' i can see happening are that, after you helped someone out with some problem once, they come back to you again and again because the roof keeps leaking, the car keeps needing repairs, a naming ceremony needs to be financed or whatever.
You won't believe it but the cost of private clasees for a child ranges from D250 - D500 per month . Times are really hard and many teachers like other civil servants struggle to supplement their income as the costs of living is high. In this case bills were alrerady paid at the school and another requests follows for the private classes and appear to be a genuine requests. like I said there was a communication breakdown between Jambo and the parents on the child's needs for Jambo to support the child for a given period. |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 09:55:04
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babygirl i apologise the name should have been babylon. BABYLON does NOT like individual help. I have not paid any money as yet and will not, I did discuss it with the mother, but when the teacher mentioned it to me i had the discussion with them about what to do.
think about it logically, they told me they thought she should have extra help, otherwise she will not get in to the school of her choice.
I contacted the mother asap possible to discuss the situation with her. MY PROBLEM IS NOT THE MONEY BUT WILL THE CHILD GET THE HELP. AGAIN I ASK, IF I PAY FOR THE HELP WHAT GUARANTEE DO I OR THE MOTHER HAVE THE THE TEACHER SHE HAS HIRED IS ANY GOOD. ONCE AGAIN THINK ABOUT THAT QUESTION. WHERE DID I MENTION THAT I HAD PARTED WITH MONEY FOR THE EXTRA CLASSES. for those of you who are against the idea of a child being given extra help, so be it.
BUT THE TEACHER HAD THE CHILDs FUTURE AT HEART. I WOULD HAVE PAID THE TEACHER. BUT WANTED TO DISCUSS IT WITH THE MOTHER.
Kobo the extra help would have been for 3 months one term to bring the child up to standard for methodist or gambia high. That is where the child is aiming for. also the teacher explained that at year nine if the results are not good they do not get in.
Also I do not want to get involved in anyone being hired to go to a compound to give extra help. That is being involved to much.
to MIKKI please start your own fourum on rights as this is different topic and is getting lost in this one.
ONCE again MADIBA, BAMBA read my last sentence of the original postings. |
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mikki
7 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:15:02
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To Jambo
I will stop here, its was just a offence, becource MADIBA was wery racist. ( and I think he need some "educacation" )
Take care to all |
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:22:32
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MIKKI ,
YOU CAN GO TO HELL FOR ALL I CARE! |
madiss |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:31:36
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| Very mature! |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:45:32
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
babygirl
I contacted the mother asap possible to discuss the situation with her. MY PROBLEM IS NOT THE MONEY BUT WILL THE CHILD GET THE HELP. AGAIN I ASK, IF I PAY FOR THE HELP WHAT GUARANTEE DO I OR THE MOTHER HAVE THE THE TEACHER SHE HAS HIRED IS ANY GOOD. ONCE AGAIN THINK ABOUT THAT QUESTION. WHERE DID I MENTION THAT I HAD PARTED WITH MONEY FOR THE EXTRA CLASSES. for those of you who are against the idea of a child being given extra help, so be it.
BUT THE TEACHER HAD THE CHILDs FUTURE AT HEART. I WOULD HAVE PAID THE TEACHER. BUT WANTED TO DISCUSS IT WITH THE MOTHER.
Kobo the extra help would have been for 3 months one term to bring the child up to standard for methodist or gambia high. That is where the child is aiming for. also the teacher explained that at year nine if the results are not good they do not get in.
Also I do not want to get involved in anyone being hired to go to a compound to give extra help. That is being involved to much.
Time is running out or may have ran out Jambo. Make timely interventions if you are giving extra support, do so and don't show signs of mis-trust and exposing them to the public for an academic exercise or what ulterior motive you may have please? Its a short term but very timely as that child needed your support. Be patient to wait for the results later, to see whether you will be impressed or not, rather than questioning and denouncing someone's integrity and exercising some kind of manipulation to the disadvantage of the child. |
Edited by - kobo on 15 May 2006 10:46:31 |
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bamba
Sweden
401 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:47:01
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| Madiba is not a racist, Madiba reacts intelligently, maturedly to racism. |
Bamba |
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