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toubab1020
12309 Posts |
 Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:48:54
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
to all of you listen to the facts, i did not offer the help but was asked for it.
i did not think to ask the mother first because it was the school teacher who draw my attention to the child needing extra help. It was never my intention to help the child further. I normally pay for one year of school fees and books.
i asked the mother what she wanted she said for the daughter to have help at home. My problem with that is this if I paid would the daughter receive the help. I thought the mother might be getting ripped off. think about it. I did not want to get involved personally because i think it is wrong to make a promise you cannot keep.
On my next trip I will pay the schools fees for the September 2006 year in one go. that way if I never go back to gambia nobobdy is expecting me to pay school fees.
i did go to the dept of education as you suggested but they explained that what i was doing was okay but that i should work with the schools as they have examples of children being sponsored more than once.
sister omega, babygirl and others on the bantaba I am hurt that you think i did not have the child's interest at heart. i take your comments on board and will not speak to the child. REMEMBER THIS THE TEACHERS APPROACHED ME.
To Njucks, Galo Sowe and other thank you for the feed back, your comments have helped me to make my decision.
She is doing well, very happy well mannered and bright. The teachers wanted the best for.
Gambiaeve, Toubob1020 and babygirl, why is the forum hijacked.
I HAVE LEFT THE BANTABA.
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Jambo,
I hope that you have not left Bantaba yet,the fact that you have been overwelmed by postings from some of the members to your postings,these people are happy because they feel that they have won and they are better than you because you have left Bantaba SOME Gambians suffer from an extreme form of jelousy and the Bantaba is now "broken" you only have to look at the windscreens of the majority of vehicles in town to find that they are "broken" by stones,thrown up by the road surface, or more likely from a stone launched by someones hand,the thought being why should this man have a job driving a car or why has this man got a car and I havn't I will be happy if I break that thing then he will be like me have nothing.. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 10:55:22
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Bamba.....Madiba wrote 'go to hell'. I dont consider that intelligent or mature!!!  |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 11:09:48
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toubab1020, i did not even think about that but some of the posting went off somewhere else.
KOBO, my instinct was to help the child through the school and the teacher. She attends St Theresa, westfield. They had the child future at heart. the mis-trust arose because the mother said "it was not good enough". that is when I had to ask questions, such as why does she think that.
I did my homework and woul dhave helped the child go to YWCA after school club, but was advised that this would be too far for the child to get home. As you say the child needed the support but for me to go against the mother is not correct. ONCE AGAIN I WOULD HAPPILY PAY THE MOTHER FOR THE TUTOR, BUT BELIEVE THE MOTHER HAS BEEN MISLED BY A MEMBER OF HER COMPOUND WHO WANTS EXTRA MONEY.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 11:21:33
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My advice is trust your instincts. They are USUALLY right.
Also ask several people the same question and see if you get the same answer!!!I have been lied to last week in a most terrible way. I discovered this by checking facts with my guide by text and with another contact by email. If you are suspicious why risk money? Give it to someone you are sure of, or as sure as you ever can be.
The other thing to think of is that whatever happens to the money it is NOT the CHILDS fault. Children are fairly powerless in Gambian society.It is possible to pay fees direct to the school or tutor and by pass the parents and others in the compound.
Getting to the truth of things can take time as IN GENERAL Gambians are not as direct as Western people. Business that could take ten minutes in uk takes an hour or so........I sit there thinking GET TO THE POINT!!! I am learning to be patient...... It has taken me 12 months to get to the bottom of a problem in the village I go to. (Kolior) It is still not resolved, but I am FINALLY clearer about what is going on. |
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toubab1020
12309 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 12:18:23
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
toubab1020, i did not even think about that but some of the posting went off somewhere else.
KOBO, my instinct was to help the child through the school and the teacher. She attends St Theresa, westfield. They had the child future at heart. the mis-trust arose because the mother said "it was not good enough". that is when I had to ask questions, such as why does she think that.
I did my homework and woul dhave helped the child go to YWCA after school club, but was advised that this would be too far for the child to get home. As you say the child needed the support but for me to go against the mother is not correct. ONCE AGAIN I WOULD HAPPILY PAY THE MOTHER FOR THE TUTOR, BUT BELIEVE THE MOTHER HAS BEEN MISLED BY A MEMBER OF HER COMPOUND WHO WANTS EXTRA MONEY.
JAMBO,
VERY pleased to see that you have not left Bantaba,it would be a great pity if you felt that you had been "driven out" by some of the posters,stay and make Bantaba a good place to be to discuss any ideas or thoughts on what is a great place, Gambia. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 12:26:47
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Puuh, what a heat! Individual help, beneath other things, can divide people and let them envy each other. This is what individual helpers never consider (thanks, Babylon, for having mentioned this important point). It is also true that those who receive individual help are left to the arbitrariness of the 'helper'.
On homosexuality: Those who state that homosexuality was not known in Africa before the whites came, are certainly lying to themselves.
Why are many christian and muslim men so hysterical about homosexuality? Sounds like a desperate attempt to avert their own homosexual tendencies. Relax, boys - mankind is not in the danger of dying out because of a few homosexuals. And let me ask you what you are trying to do. Are you really trying to force people to have sex with persons they don't accept as sex partners? Sickening!
My personal opinion: As long as it is not obligatory (like heterosexuality would be according to the above mentioned hysterics ), and as long as the partners do it at free will as adults or contemporaries, everyone can be as homosexual as he wants to be. |
Edited by - serenata on 15 May 2006 12:32:23 |
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Galo Sowe
Sweden
116 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 12:31:05
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
It is possible to pay fees direct to the school or tutor and by pass the parents and others in the compound.
I would'nt advice anyone to pay fees without informing a child's parents.
Why would you think you have the best interest of the child than the parents? It is very common that teachers are transfered from one school to another like soldiers in Gambia. What happens if the teacher you trust transferes to another school?
We usually inform parents that their childs fees has been paid, so they don't need to pay for that year. |
"Soldiers are experts at camouflage but that is on the battle field not the political one, were transparency is the watch word" Kaaniba |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 12:45:32
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I didnt mean to by pass parents in the decision making, just in the money handling. If money is paid direct it avoids the temptation to spend it on other things...that is all..... At primary level I give money to parents, but at secondary I pay the high school directly. If the child needs money for extras such as uniform I give it to the family.
Like at home I pay my bills first by direct debits from the bank so I am not tempted to buy cds and clothes and have nothing left for electric and water..... |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 12:48:27
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The attitude in the villages i go to doesnt seem to be one of jealously, but gladness for their neighbour that someone is helping them to get an education. MOST Gambians accept with good grace that I cant help everyone and I am trying my best for a few families. It is a drop in the ocean...but surely it is better than nothing?
If I won the lottery I would love to help more people! |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 13:01:18
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quote:
Originally posted by jambo
toubab1020, i did not even think about that but some of the posting went off somewhere else.
KOBO, my instinct was to help the child through the school and the teacher. She attends St Theresa, westfield. They had the child future at heart. the mis-trust arose because the mother said "it was not good enough". that is when I had to ask questions, such as why does she think that.
I did my homework and woul dhave helped the child go to YWCA after school club, but was advised that this would be too far for the child to get home. As you say the child needed the support but for me to go against the mother is not correct. ONCE AGAIN I WOULD HAPPILY PAY THE MOTHER FOR THE TUTOR, BUT BELIEVE THE MOTHER HAS BEEN MISLED BY A MEMBER OF HER COMPOUND WHO WANTS EXTRA MONEY.
Thats the practise for St theresa but you are allowed to make alternative arrangements for better attention. Just advice the parent that you are not willing to help in this instant period. Good luck and continue to help the needy. |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2006 : 13:07:34
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| Kobo, that is my decision. which is a shame as the child has future. |
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