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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2008 : 07:51:16
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what is sex tourist?, these both side are having their profit from one another. But the dirty side of it is that most of them are using much different age between them. That is physical raping!!
Next level!!! You also know Experiences of the (most)European women hates this so called importing women, The reason for it is simple. Jealousy! They said this women are to their husband like slave just like what they are saying about us and our African women. But there is the experience of this both side. They real know why their men are doing so. The satisfactory is the vain of live and when you cant get it after work you are dead man. You are living just for the others but not yourself, And that is not a life. They don't care of having next generations,(9-10 month pure stress. NO NO and NO!!! )they said if men can do it i can do it too, is this a balance of the life?. I will not surprise about this altercation, because both side are having pure stress, whether from work or privately. Both side are men, so man have to be just a man, There is no more husband and wife in their world, they are all wife and husband. that is fine but leave the other for life. I know how this my sick mentality will come up to some of you as mad/older or misogynic(frauenfeindlich).But this will not get off my skin. As one professor from Madrid put it "They don't want have them here but children of this people are going to pay their pension but not they own". I full agree with this lady, the women you use to hate, now her children are taking care of you in your old age while you are still after his/her uncle/ant |
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leokat

United Kingdom
123 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2008 : 12:03:54
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quote: Originally posted by mbay
what is sex tourist?, these both side are having their profit from one another.
...But the dirty side of it is that most of them are using much different age between them. That is physical raping!!
WHAT     
You really cannot be serious. As long as both parties are over the age of consent and do consent to then how can it be rape    And How do you explain Mohamed's (peace be upon him, and may he forgive my impertinent question) marriage to a much younger woman   
For myself, I have a relationship with a much younger Gambian man. I made none of the running. I love the man in question but have never asked anything of him. I was content with a platonic relationship. It was he, not I, who moved things on. I do not expect him to make me promises or even to be faithful to me. I would understand if he wanted to marry a younger woman who can give him a family. I even said I’d be happy to remain friends if he were to do that.
He knows I am unable to work due to illness and, therefore, do not have a lot of money. He also knows that, even if we were to marry, it would be hard for us to save enough money to make a successful visa application so he can come and live with me.
Even so he has asked me to marry him many times but I have always refused saying that I could never give him the things he has a right to expect from life - namely a family. The last time I visited him he asked me one final time to marry him. Again I refused. He does not understand why I say no and says I insult him by suggesting that he marries someone else. I think this will be the end of our relationship.
It's ironic really. I would have been happy for our relationship to continue as friends or lovers. I think he would be happy with that type of relationship too; but, egged on by his friends, he seems to be 'locked' into a pattern of behaviour that goes: Meet a European woman, get her to fall in love with you, marry her. move to Europe, make your fortune, send money back to The Gambia and hopefully return home one day having made it big. He has admitted to me that his friends think he is odd because he wants to maintain a relationship with me and does not 'chase ass' on the beach. He has experienced even more hassle from those who think all Europeans are wealthy. They refuse to understand my situation and think my b/f is being conned by me to the extent that even he has had his doubts.
If I were in a better financial position I would not hesitate to marry my b/f. It would not matter to me that I’d go into the marriage knowing that there was a time limit on the relationship. What I won’t do is marry my b/f knowing that it might prevent him either meeting and marrying someone who really could make his dreams come true or marrying someone he can have a family with.
So who’s using who ?
Sometimes I think life would have been so much simpler for both myself and my b/f if I’d been a ‘straightforward’ sex tourist.
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Edited by - leokat on 05 May 2008 12:05:28 |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2008 : 12:38:20
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Sorry leokat for my short explanation, what i means is between old man/women and teenagers. It is the same problems i have about the sugardaddys. Not just ages but all that's with it. like Tina turner said WHAT LOVE GOT DO WITH IT? you are talking about your love, and one have right to step in. But in my views, the talks are about dimensions of the SEX TOURIST . I wish all to be as you're up to, But the realty is on different stars. Lastly much of the things are allowed for the Said-naa.(SAW)what is out of reach for us ordinary people. Remembers we only after his foot steps and not be as He is.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2008 : 12:45:10
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Leokat a very honest posting. I have been through every emotion you are describing. I think however genuine people start out if money is unequal it can get in the way. |
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jambo

3300 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2008 : 17:04:03
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leokat, is your b/f a muslim, because he can marry someone else to have a family with, i am not understanding your posting, never mind the age situations why do you mention "If I were in a better financial position I would not hesitate to marry my b/f. It would not matter to me that I’d go into the marriage knowing that there was a time limit on the relationship." i do not get this sentence.
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leokat

United Kingdom
123 Posts |
Posted - 08 May 2008 : 13:46:50
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Mbay,
Thanks for your reply. However, I'm sorry but I don't properly understand much of what you are trying to say.
Yes of course a relationship between an naive and inexperienced teenage male or female and an older, more experienced, preditory, exploitative, man/woman could be considered wrong. And yes I have seen such couples in my time in The Gambia. However, what percentage of the younger man/older woman relationships that develope between toubabs and Gambians actually conform to that pattern?
And exactly what is wrong with someone being a sugar daddy/mummy? As long as both parties know the score and are honest with each other then surely both parties stand to gain.
And could it not also be argued that the reverse may be true? By this I mean that, although the men are younger it is possible that some of them are doing the exploiting. Why is it always assumed that, where there is a large age difference in a relationship, the older person is automatically the more experienced and, therefore, somehow more culpable. Many of the middle aged women who find themselves caught up in a relationship with a younger Gambian man are far more niave than the man in question. Many visit The Gambia in the wake of the breakdown of their marriage or long term relationship. They choose the Gambia for the sun, the culture, and because the country is perceived as safe. When they arrive they find themselves bowled over by the attention they receive from good looking young men. In many cases they are 'easy pickings' for the young men who, though they are very young, are far from inexperienced. They have built their lives around meeting a woman who will make their dreams come true. And so what if some of the women use them there is always a drink, a meal, a night out at Ladies Night etc to be had out of it. Oh and there's always next week.
I do not pretend to have any deep knowledge of Islam so I do not feel able to comment on whether or not Mohamed (PBUH) intended his actions to be emulated. Does the Koran have anything to say about a marriage where there is a large age difference?
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leokat

United Kingdom
123 Posts |
Posted - 08 May 2008 : 13:53:33
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quote: Originally posted by gambiabev
Leokat a very honest posting. I have been through every emotion you are describing. I think however genuine people start out if money is unequal it can get in the way.
Yes Bev I agree. My b/f and I have experienced many problems and I feel these would have actually have been made worse if I had money or property. |
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leokat

United Kingdom
123 Posts |
Posted - 08 May 2008 : 14:08:06
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quote: Originally posted by jambo
leokat, is your b/f a muslim, because he can marry someone else to have a family with, i am not understanding your posting, never mind the age situations why do you mention "If I were in a better financial position I would not hesitate to marry my b/f. It would not matter to me that I’d go into the marriage knowing that there was a time limit on the relationship." i do not get this sentence.
Hi jambo,
True my b/f is a Muslim; but I am not. Yes he could take another wife but he knows that if I agreed to marry him it would be on the understanding that I wish to be his one and only wife.
These are my morals, so I do not expect you to understand them, but I can accept a role as my b/f's friend, or even lover, and still invisage him marrying a younger woman and having a family but for me marriage is a contract between one man and one woman.
What I was trying to say is that I would onsider marrying my b/f knowing that the marriage would be likely to fail because one day he would want a family or to return to The Gambia (I cannot move there for medical, social, and fnancial reasons).
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jambo

3300 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 12:53:55
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csatching up here, if it does not matter to you queston why bother with the marriage. If "What I was trying to say is that I would onsider marrying my b/f knowing that the marriage would be likely to fail because one day he would want a family or to return to The Gambia (I cannot move there for medical, social, and fnancial reasons). " to enter into a marriage knowing it could fail, goes against some of your morals.
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toubab1020

12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 13:37:41
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Come on now ladies and gents,all this very deep analitical discussion is a diversion from the real reasons why this subject has been posted,yes,sex,thats what its all about,if both people agree,(male and female adults)then can there be any objections? If each gets what they want then that must be a fair bargain.Love between the two probably .............well......... maybe................
(I am going to take cover now from the stones and stick about to be launched.........where is my tin hat?) |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Edited by - toubab1020 on 23 Jun 2008 13:41:33 |
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black orchid

United Kingdom
74 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 14:08:16
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I was shocked, when I first visited Gambia, at the amount of middleaged and older women with young Gambian men. It must be very flattering for some woman to receive that much attention from young men, when normally they wouldnt get a "second look " at home!!!
ok, where is my tin hat |
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toubab1020

12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 14:24:25
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Jump in here, it's quite dry in this trench,just keep your head down!! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Edited by - toubab1020 on 23 Jun 2008 14:25:57 |
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kaanibaa

United Kingdom
1169 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 16:08:05
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I found one just do not know where to post it, 'tin hat' I mean !yea haaa ! |
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toubab1020

12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Jun 2008 : 16:24:14
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quote: Originally posted by kaanibaa
I found one just do not know where to post it, 'tin hat' I mean !yea haaa !
Well we could always do with a spare here in the trench, just in case more people want to jump in,its quiet at the moment though! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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turk

USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 12 Aug 2008 : 20:48:46
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I am not sure if it is good news or bad news for gambians and tourist industry but my fellow turkish guys are in competition. According to the travel magazine 'take a break' from britain, turkey is now became popular destination for british ladies who seek for 'love'. There is a town called, Bodrum which is basically british town with many brits, many turkish men offers their services available starting 20 pounds.
So my question to toubab and lurker? What is wrong with british men :)? |
diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
Edited by - turk on 12 Aug 2008 20:51:30 |
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