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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
 Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 09:33:42
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FEE SWEETIE
I am very sorry if we have gone off your original posting. I have been thinking about you and worrying about you and your child. I hope you are doing OK.
Have you taken legal advice yet? Please keep in touch. You can always email me privately. Love Bev |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 12:08:14
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I must say I feel sick about the way you try to put every african man down.
The way you talk is as if africans are not human and uncapable of truly loving someone.
If I were an african I would be even more angry about how you look at africans, because you act racist. Dont say; "how can I be a racist, I love Gambia and I do this and that to help africans" etc. We all know that is not a gurantee for not being a racist. There are racists in interracial marriages right this minute and still look down on people from other cultures. So why do you wnat to point at black men if you are not racist?
How interesting that as soon as there is a topic in this forum about relationships some women, you Bev in particular, like to jump into it faster than the speed of sound and start talking about how bad black men are. This judgement that you base on the one or two experiences you have had with black men.. If they treated you bad, it means all black men are the same and that your job and duty is to warn all us "innocent" (hell, maybe you were a 40 year old virgin too when you first visited Gambia...) white women from these terrible black men?
You blame the men and complain how you cant trust any man again because of one man who did you wrong. Maybe you need some therapy to get over your traumatic experience instead of coming to the forums and spit poison at all africans as soon as you get the chance?
Why on earth should black men be any different from white men when it comes to cheating and lying? You must know already that there is no difference between liars, a liar is always going to be a liar but still you want to ask if Gambians lie more than U.K men? Why?
Yes, there are men in poor countries who try their best to get out of there. You know this already, they dont love a woman almost twice their age because she is so damn hot.. It is not a good way and itīs not fair to the woman. But why do you chose to be their victims? I think itīs like Sister Omega just said: because you "dont love and respect yourself enough to wait for someone who will appreciate her and love her for herself." Some player comes talking to you about how nice you are and you fall for it instantly because noone ever told you that before? Didnīt your mother ever warn you about the guys whoīd do anything just to get into your pants? You are mature women, why dont you know any better?
There are plenty of good men. I know many, many good african men who are good, honest people and who love their one and only woman. That is why I get mad when you talk as if all african men arenīt worth anything.
Why dont you ever find the good guys but keep looking for the wrong guys in all the wrong places? The problem is with you.
Misery likes company, thats the only problem you have and you need to get over it. I feel sorry for you. |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 12:14:38
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quote:
Originally posted by tapalapa
MANSASULU -
I AM CURIOUS...............
PLEASE TRANSLATE KUMBA NDARR SAMBA NDARR
THANKS
TAPA
Fee Sweetee (just 24! waaw!) Enjoy yourself as life goes on!!!. Some trying to brainwashed you and destructive to Gambians generally had their personal romantic days etc etc. That takes me to help with above quote for Tapa.
"Kumba Ndarr Samba Ndarr" These are wollof ridicles or parables as "Kumba" denotes Ladies in feminist terms; "Samba" likewise generalise on Men. "Kumba" is a typical wollof name for a lady and "Samba" are also typical wollof, tukulorr or fula names."Ndarr" (St. Louis) is a place or town in Senegal with very rich culture. The place denotes DESTINATION or the ultimate starting or ending point. Therefore "Kumba Ndarr Samba Ndarr" means ALL THINGS ARE EQUAL or qualifying certain conditions and circumstances. Kayjatta has said it all; that there are problems with Gambians to Gambians likewise Gambians married tio Europeans and problems of marriage and relationships are generally the same.
Refine the legal issues from the different personal experiences highlighted. Life is not easy but be ready to face lots of challenges.
Nice day! |
Edited by - kobo on 01 Jun 2007 12:40:05 |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 13:13:41
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Babylon, you are a very angry person. Not sure what I have done to deserve all that?!
If I met an African man or any other black man in the UK I wouldnt be so worried. It is more of a level playing field. They are more likely to have work. They are probably more aware and more open to Western culture. There is perhaps more chance of success.
But a Gambian man, what ever his age, I would always suspect his motives. Money? Visa? Many stories on Bantaba and other places seem to reflect that I am very right to be cautious. If that makes me racist Babylon, well I am sorry. I have met many racist people in my life time and dont consider myself to be like them in any way. You have never met me and yet seem keen to judge me.
If my man is genuine and loves me for me ( me at 46 and him at around 30) I will be the happiest person alive. But I have found out he has told me a serious lie (not about a women as some people have presmued) but about something important. I believe one lie leads to many lies. I am trying to find the money and time to go to Gambia in August for one week to see him face to face.
Babylon there is no need to feel sorry for me. I am a confident middle aged women with a close circle of friends. I have two lovely daughters and both my parents are still alive and reasonably well.
I will soon be moving house and will be debt free. I have a job teaching special needs children, which is very difficult, but increadibly rewarding.
My relationship in Gambia was going to be ' the icing on the cake'. Well I can cope without the icing. My life is fine just as it is. I am content and reasonably happy. The last few years have been a long journey for me, but I am almost there.
I count my blessings every day. Visiting Gambia is one of those blessings. |
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tapalapa
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 13:34:17
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Well, I really don`t know where all this topic is going but it sure is interesting...........and emotionally provoking !
There are deep tensions within our forum tribe- better out than in, I say.
I think we are all racist, sexist and other ist`s in one form or another at different times in our lives.
Is calling everyone a "Toubaub" racist ???
Im taking Kondorong`s advice- I am off to buy the LION AND THE JEWEL
It looks so interesting..........."In a Nigerian village Sidi a local beauty queen questions her relationships with all the men around her, she must find her destiny between the Old and the new, the modern and the traditional"................Thanks K
Can`t wait..............
Have you all a good weekend- chill, be cool and enjoy.
Im working at a festival for three days- Word music with a feast in the Park.
Tapa
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 13:43:55
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Youīre wrong Gambiabev. I am not an angry person. I just donīt like ppl who are fake from head to toe. I dont buy your stories, nevar have and never will. All you want is attention, you are one of the most attention seeking people I have ever seen in my life.
And by the way, if you are such a hard working teacher how come you have the time to write at the bantanba every single minute each day?
You is a fake, big time. I said it yesterday and I will say it tomorrow. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 14:06:34
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I get up at 6am and write a little before school. Then sometimes I write a little around 10pm just before I go to bed. I work 5 days a week ( aroudn 8am to 5pm out of the house)and part of my evenings and part of sunday I am usually sat at my computer doing school work.
This week and next week I have school holidays.Still got work to do though, ready for an inspection for NAS accreditation.
I am far from a fake. I am down to earth, ordinary white women. I am very open and honest. |
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tapalapa
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 14:21:06
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BABYLON- COOL IT MATE- TOLERANCE, SHARING AND DIVERSITY, THIS IS WHAT WE ARE ABOUT ON THIS FORUM.
IT IS GETTING VERY PERSONAL..................
I THINK IT IS HEALTHY TO DISCUSS OUR EXPERIENCES, I FEEL I WAS TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT WITH MY VIEWS AND JUMPED ON STRAIGHT AWAY BEING SUPERIOR !
WE MUSN`T CENSOR WHAT PEOPLES VIEWS ARE, OTHERWISE THEY GO UNDERGROUND.
GAMBIA BEV. IS AN HONEST PERSON, SHE IS HONEST IN HER VIEWS I RESPECT
THIS. I DO NOT BELIEIVE SHE IS A RACIST.
EASY EASY...........
Tapa
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tintinto
United Kingdom
105 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 14:45:05
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| I have personaly seen, Bev's genorousity in The Gambia, building a nursery,etc. etc. yes she is genuine, i would like to meet her one day. Babylon, it seems such a strange thing for anyone to do, condeming someone so strongly like you have, without really knowing that person properley, in your defence i will take it that you have some sort of problem within yourself, to act this hostile?? Please take time out, to concider your remarks, and do the right thing........apoligies. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 14:58:24
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Tintino, are u kidding me? So I have a problem within myself because I think Gambiabev is a dubious person and question her racist statements about Gambians?
Is that being "hostile"?
Then you donīt know the meaning of hostile. |
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kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 15:39:15
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quote:
Originally posted by tintinto
I have personaly seen, Bev's genorousity in The Gambia, building a nursery,etc. etc. yes she is genuine, i would like to meet her one day. Babylon, it seems such a strange thing for anyone to do, condeming someone so strongly like you have, without really knowing that person properley, in your defence i will take it that you have some sort of problem within yourself, to act this hostile?? Please take time out, to concider your remarks, and do the right thing........apoligies.
This topic has gone too far but we have to nip the distasteful from the bud!
Tintinto are you supporting or entertaining GAMBIANS to be levied with INSULTS GENERALLY (lies! Liars! etc). I don't think we deserve these stupid remarks. There is no racism but GENERALISATION hints at something against a given community to make them look low and degraded.
Bev has negative attidude when dealing with social issues. In certain topics, she always castigates MEN etc and however show her private lifestyle as the BEST STANDARDS FOR BANTABARA!!!!
Its already PETTY AND NASTY and absolutely ireelevant and not helping Fee Sweetie with the Divorce advice she wants from us.
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 15:47:17
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gambiabev, Babylon is right: I hear nothing but bad things about African men from your side, and I wonder why you are doing this. Why are you repeating the same old stuff over and over again, why do you feed any newcomer who has problems with a Gambian partner with your biased opinions and your self-pity?
What I posted was not very positive either, but I repeat: I don't believe that you'll find any relationship on this whole wide world with one 'good' and one 'bad' partner. Look closer, and you'll always see that both sides are making mistakes. Always.
After all I don't think my husband is my personal entertainer. In our Western concept of love we expect too much from our partners ('my lover, my best friend, my etc. p.p'), it is almost inhumane and must necessarily lead to disappointment. Our consumer's attitude towards marriage/partnership is doing the rest to let divorce rates go through the ceiling. |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 16:09:49
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Serenata, i don't think i have been looking at 'partnership' as if i was a consumer and wanting the best value for money. Is it too much to hope for getting back the same level of love and dedication, time and energy as what i am putting in? Maybe it is, but it is allowed i think to feel disappointed or a bit sad from to time.
Though, in general i should say: you cannot 'deserve' love, you are either loved or not loved (no matter how hard you try for the partner).
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When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 16:13:17
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I agree, Anna. And let me add: It is my decision to love or not. I am responsible for my feelngs - not my partner. Sounds hard, but that's how it is... The other way round it means I can love someone, and he/she can do nothing about it!   |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 20:31:24
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Gambiabev , Fee , and all the western women that are victimized or hurt by unscrupulous Gambian men ,my appologies , although i am not sure if I have the qualifications or obligations to appologize.
I urge you to be strong and move on with your lifes, there is so much ahead and please understand that this has nothing to do with you as a person.
Having said that , I will also have to say that if anyone leaves Europe to marry a young man from Africa (Gambia Particularly)there will be a very slim chance the relationship is gonna succeed . This could be no one's fault. If you pick any psychology textbook and look up for factors that contribute to the creation and success of personal relationships-similarity, proximity,...,very few if any will exist in this "tele-romantic" affairs.The differences and contradictions between the couples and their cultures is enough to doom the marriage from the onset , sooner or later.
Fee , you are definately very young , I wished i lived in your city in U.K ...(but hey).You have your whole life ahead of you , so do not get paralysed emotionally or otherwise by this small event of you life. Move on big and get that man out of yout thoughts , you probably do not deserve him.
gambiabev ,I am impressed that you are a teacher , i used to be a teacher too and i know how noble that profession is.I think you can have an open-relationship with you man in the gambia , no strings attached. But do not let him be a parasite on you, you will get hurt! Visit him when you can , and have fun. |
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