| Author |
 Topic  |
|
leokat
United Kingdom
123 Posts |
 Posted - 31 May 2007 : 17:12:45
|
quote:
...I dont doubt him because he is a poor man from africa, but because I have caught him out!!!     Last week I heard a story about him. He has lied to me very seriously, which makes me doubt everything......I am still hoping that my Gambian man wants me for the right reasons and is a good guy. But it is looking increasingly unlikely...
Bev, obviously I don't know what your b/friend lied to to you about so it's hard to give advise (and you haven't asked for any). However, my gut reaction is 'get real girl'. You say you've been lied to badly yet are still hoping things will work out. This seems like denial to me. I think you already know in your heart where things are going. :-[ |
 |
|
|
jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 17:43:46
|
and you have said it you caught him out, you woke up and thought what do i need this for
follow your instinct. |
|
|
|
tapalapa
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 18:02:52
|
MANSASULU -
I AM CURIOUS...............
PLEASE TRANSLATE KUMBA NDARR SAMBA NDARR
THANKS
TAPA |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 18:06:01
|
Yeah, I have woken up! Going to concentrate on my nursery project and give the men a wide berth!
Ladies do you think Gambian men lie more than british men or are all men equally bad!?
One Gambian guy text me to say his wife had died and could he come to UK to stay with me for a while. I checked it out and it was a total lie. She was alive and well in the village.  I couldnt believe it! |
|
|
|
tapalapa
United Kingdom
202 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 18:25:02
|
 Bev you do ask interesting questions.
I have to say my experience is that Gambian ment do lie more than British ones- or is it they get caught out more easily ???
I think Gambian men have more reasons to lie so that they can get what they want through falseness. I don1t think they are used to being so open with the opposite sex.
Why tell the truth when a lie will do- this has been my experience.
Nowadays I stay away from and have no time for men who pursue wanting a relationship with me after 5 minutes and then want to marry me after 10 !- I don`t want another one ! This way I am meeting people who are honest as they do not have a personal agenda with me- It has been very hard and has taken a long time to achieve this, but I am on my way.
Crikey, I can feel some boiling responses coming my way-
Tapa
|
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 18:42:23
|
As you know from my postings I am an open person and I find it difficult to imagine lying to such a degree. Some of these lies I have been told are very shocking. How did he expect to get away with lying that his wife was dead? I suppose when I visit the village he could send her away and tell all his friends to go along with the story?!!!
Perhaps Gambian women on bantaba could explain if they expect a Gambian husband to be honest with them or does he keep her in the dark? ie 'What she doesnt know wont hurt her!'
Most British women EXPECT truth, honesty and openness from their man. They dont always get it, but at least it is usually an aim in most marriages. ALSO faithfulness.
In Gambian marriages do women accept that their husband will be unfaithful? In the UK lots of people are unfaithful, but this isnot acceptable and alot of people end up loosing their marriage over it.
Is unfaithfulness of the husband considered grounds for divorce in Gambia?
I have very high expectations from marriage. I want an equal partnership. I want a faithful partner. I want a companion and best friend. My exhusband was all those things, but sadly he was alcoholic too.
Beginning to think it will be me with my dog and cat for company from now on!!!! |
|
|
|
kobo
United Kingdom
7765 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 19:46:02
|
Please be specific to forward any useful advices for Fee Sweetie's personal problems and stop tendency tiowards provocations of Gambians.
Nice contributions are flowing through however for the benefit of all of us.
Thanks! |
|
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 20:36:58
|
I agree with Kobo: "stop tendency towards provocations of Gambians."
Let me just add this before Gambiabev and Tapalapa continue being full of themselves and have the nerve to disrespectful towards Gambians on a Gambian forum: most people who always suspect their partners of lying and cheating are usually the biggest liars and cheaters themselves...
But not all are like yourselves.
|
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 21:28:18
|
Is telling the truth provocation?
Babylon, what would you suggest? People keep quiet and dont post anything bad against a Gambian? Then other women may fall into the charm trap. I would like to warn other women. What is wrong with that?
Babylon do you think all Gambians are perfect?!
I know people in UK are full of good things and bad things and I tend to think that is true of people the world over. Are you trying to say Gambians are so perfect we cant critise? I dont think that is so!!! |
|
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2007 : 21:49:01
|
Of course all Gambians are not perfect. But we are all Human beings, not just our nationalities.
This problem that you have with men is your personal problem and has nothing to do with Gambians as a people, and you cant blame Gambians because your man is playing you!
Players come in all colours, men of all colours leave their women and children. This is not an AFRICAN PROBLEM ALONE. It is a male/female issue for Gods sake! |
|
|
|
Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 00:07:13
|
Babylon Well said!
Come on Bev if your man is a player he's a player. You should give thanks that you found out in good time before you sold your house and invested some of your hard earned cash into your lovers business.
Love is blind and sometimes the warning signals are there shouting us in the face and we choose to ignore them. The Guy is 16 years younger than you he already has I recall; he already told you that he intended to marry again once you were married.
Many people get love mixed up with infatuation they are more in love with the physical than the spirtual and emotional parts of the person they are with. Sometimes it's good to take a reality check and take responsibility for yourself. Therefore instead of placing blame soley on the other person also consider what signals you were giving out. After if a goose can lay a golden egg why get rid of it; just keep on singing those sweet nothings that sound so good in her ears for her to keep on laying more and more eggs. To buy a car,invest in business and build that house the goose keeps on laying those golden eggs because she doesn't respect herself enough to wait for someone who will appreciate her and love her for herself.
Peace
Sister Omega
|
Peace
Sister Omega |
|
|
|
Newfy
Western Samoa
462 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 00:45:50
|
Well said Sister Omega.
Also, this is an understatement, but it is very discriminatory and superficial to generalize about this and this group does this or that. Everyone is unique and it is not fair to cast Gambians or any group as a stereotype. On a lighter note, not all blonds are dumb
compared to those with black hair...but watch out for those blue eyes... |
|
|
|
jammin
Jamaica
149 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 02:06:56
|
Let me Hahahahahahaha........ LOL. this topic is exhilaratingly funny.
i have to say, this is truly a good yarn
a word to the wise, whenever there is money or opportunity.."LOVE" will come a running |
Like a colossus He doth bestride the Narrow World |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 09:25:35
|
Judging from all the recent postings I have to learn to be a lot more cynical in life. I try to be positive and look for the best in people. According to you lot I should always expect the worst and then I wont be disappointed!
Sister Omega, just one small point to correct, he had never said he would marry twice, infact he stated the opposite. But I have heard so many stories where the man goes back to Gambia to produce children with an African women that I though why would he be any different? It is my FEAR.
SO if you have money or property there will always be someone looking for a fast buck. How sad. I have my own home in UK. SO does that mean that even with UK men I cant trust anyone to want me for me?
If I accept that then I will be alone for the rest of my life. I am 47 this summer. My Grandma is still alive at 94, so in other words I could have 40 or 50 years on my own if I have her genes! |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jun 2007 : 09:31:52
|
Sister Omega, just for the record, I havent bought property in Gambia or invested in business or bought land. After taking advice from my accountant and parents I have put all of my money into my new house that I will be moving to in the summer. So I have no spare cash to be 'wasted' in Gambia. I think I had a very lucky escape.
I hope to still help my students that i sponsor and still go to Kolior to the nursery school. I have met lots of lovely people in Gambia. I still want to visit my guide in Pirang too. Not all is lost, just because one man lied to me. I hope to afford an annual visit. My VSO application is proceeding...............
|
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
