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molly75
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
 Posted - 10 May 2007 : 10:56:12
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Lily i agree that we should live for the moment, i don't tend to get worried about what lies ahead in 10 years. Whatever happens happens for a reason and something good always comes out of it, even if it seems bad at the time. im not worried about my man leaving me, im just like to make sure i make the right decision at the time.
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molly75
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2007 : 11:04:18
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As for having children Kiwi, i agree it is very important. I do not think that im too old to have children with my man as im 32, but i do already have 2 of my own. I would be willing to have 1 or 2 with him and we have already discussed this. What i would be worried about is my children suffering racism and discrimination. Does this happen a lot?
Gambiabev i think there are probably a few people that would use marriage to a european woman in this way, but im sure most would not want to waste 10 years of their life. Do you think that if the man already had children with his european partner he would still do the same thing after 10 years? |
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kiwi
Sweden
662 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2007 : 17:57:25
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I do believe that most Gambians are sincere about their feelings, and plan to take their part of responsibility, perhaps even more than we do. We westerners do not have to look after our parents, only after ourselves and our children.
Nobody can tell you if your man is serious, without knowing him. Trust your own feelings.
About not to have a baby: I have seen it close to me – a man going to naming ceremony with a happy smile, then to next ceremony and then next…coming back with sad eyes.
About to have a baby: Expectations sometimes are different. A friend of mine married a Gambian and they had a baby. She naturally expected him to take his half of the daily work, feeding, chancing baby’s nappy, go to the nursery and so on. The only thing he did, besides ”giving her a baby” was arranging ceremony while she was too tired to get out of bed. She also expected him to be a father to her first son, play football with him, swim, talk to his teacher. He just didn’t know how to do!
Does he want to ”give you a baby” or does he want ”us to have a baby”? Give it a thought!
Having said all this you might be surprised if I say: Gambiabev, go and marry your Senegales-Gambian boyfriend (and Molly too)!  You have been waiting long enough. You never know what comes round the corner. You might regret the rest of your life that you didn’t take the chance/risk.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2007 : 18:41:42
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| I was with my first husband from 19 to 45. WOW! Still sad it ended, even though it was my choice. Thought it would be for life. |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 12 May 2007 : 23:53:04
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quote:
Originally posted by molly75
Inez very good idea, i would be the first to come to Gambia and set up business with u. Start writing a business plan and we could be out there by November!!!!
I allready have the plan,all we need is money and a school teacher to our kids, should we ask Anna? Or Bev? And who will rent us a linehouse in Bakau? |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2007 : 00:04:27
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
Many have tried and not many have succeeded!
But it is nice to phantasize!
What are you girls thinking of setting up? A hotel? I could do the PR or Sales/Advertising (my teaching subjects). A school? I have been teaching 16-22 year-olds for something like 28 years now,no problem (although, come to think of it - you would at least have to able to speak Wolof). A hospital? No thanks, not my cup of tea!
We are getting into business that it´s not depending to any season. And we might need you to teach our kids...in english. This is not impossible thing to do even if it started the way it did. |
Edited by - inez on 13 May 2007 12:03:33 |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2007 : 00:09:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Lily
Sometimes I think you just have to live for the moment - no one knows what will happen in the future and a 10 year marriage would be 5 years longer than I managed!!
By the way - I'm up for a joint venture Inez
Great, we might be 4 by now, let´s fix the details. |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2007 : 00:12:08
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
I was with my first husband from 19 to 45. WOW! Still sad it ended, even though it was my choice. Thought it would be for life.
Bev, are you in? We might be able to make it. |
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molly75
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
Posted - 13 May 2007 : 17:12:44
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Inez you seem to have it all planned!! You've even thought of teachers for our kids, how many do you have? Im sure if we ask Anna or Bev nicely they would be in on our new venture!! What date are we leaving?? |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2007 : 09:28:10
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quote:
Originally posted by molly75
Inez you seem to have it all planned!! You've even thought of teachers for our kids, how many do you have? Im sure if we ask Anna or Bev nicely they would be in on our new venture!! What date are we leaving??
I´d like to leave tomorrow(it´s raining heavily here)..but im still trying to talk my 2 kids into it and that seem to be more difficult than you guys...I will have to wait atleast one year but if we are serious about this, we have to travel there in november and start it, get to know eachother and then do it in order we all will be able to. If someone can stay there from november, the rest of us have to trust the business to that person and make sure she will be ok. I really really really want this to be real one day, even if it might look grazy right now. |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2007 : 13:03:34
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here's a question, all of you who are in doubt about a relationship working, live in gambia for three months and see, only time will see and tell it like it is. I would go tomorrow if I could, but i want to go for me. to go for others could create too many expectations Gambia is changing, go now before i changes beyond recognition |
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molly75
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2007 : 11:57:04
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Jambo i would love to live in the Gambia for 3 months, but commitments such as my job and children, stop this from being possible! |
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lorribe
9 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2007 : 12:04:02
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| Hi everyone. Holidayed in The Gambia and have struck up a friendship with a guy there. No sex not even a kiss, 15 months now and we have been contact daily. Have met his family while on holiday. Seems like the relationship is becoming more than a friendship. both want to spend some time together and see how we get along. Would I be I mad? |
lorribe |
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leokat
United Kingdom
123 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2007 : 12:53:21
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quote:
Originally posted by lorribe
Hi everyone. Holidayed in The Gambia and have struck up a friendship with a guy there. No sex not even a kiss, 15 months now and we have been contact daily. Have met his family while on holiday. Seems like the relationship is becoming more than a friendship. both want to spend some time together and see how we get along. Would I be I mad?
Hmm I guess only you can decide whether you would be mad or not. All I can suggest is that you take your time and are sure that what you are doing is right for you. Read the relevent messages on this board they highlight many of the 'issues' you will face.
I met my b/friend 18 months ago and have to say our relationship has been a huge roller coaster. I love him more than I could express and he has brought so many wonderful and unexpected things into my life. I don't regret one sngle moment of knowing him and have no regrets whatsoever. Would I go through it all again though? I'm not so sure - I guess you'd have to ask me agsain in a few years time.
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Jatta
Austria
1 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jul 2007 : 17:15:37
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quote:
Originally posted by lorribe
Hi everyone. Holidayed in The Gambia and have struck up a friendship with a guy there. No sex not even a kiss, 15 months now and we have been contact daily. Have met his family while on holiday. Seems like the relationship is becoming more than a friendship. both want to spend some time together and see how we get along. Would I be I mad?
Hi loribbe!
Your question if you would be mad makes me sad... i think you like to know him better still and like to spend time together as you wrote...when you know each other 15 months ago and you still have contact i think its the only possibility to try to see each other.. you went to gambia again or only that one time?
you are living only one life and you should do whatever you want to... give your love a chance!!!
blessings from
JATTA |
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