Bantaba in Cyberspace
Bantaba in Cyberspace
Home | Profile | Register | Active Topics | Active Polls | Members | Private Messages | Search | FAQ | Invite a friend
Username:
Password:
Save Password
Forgot your Password?

 All Forums
 Gambian Cultural Forum
 Cultural guide: General
 One man two to three wives
 New Topic  Topic Locked
 Printer Friendly
| More
Previous Page | Next Page
Author Previous Topic Topic Next Topic
Page: of 13

LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:10:23  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
Multiple wives in Islam
7/1/2004 6:00:00 PM GMT


Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse.

Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny (up till four wives) is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.

Qur’an is the only religion on the face of the earth that allows men having up till four wives, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Al-Qur’an (4:3)

Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had many wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.

So, Islam came to control having an infinite number of wives, like it was during the Pre-Islamic era.

In the same chapter Allah says in Surah Nisa verse 129, Allah says:

"You will never be able to be fair and just among women (wives)...." Qur’an (4:129)

Hence, Islam does allow having more than one wife, yet it has set conditions for that, which is that the husband should be fair with all his wives, and treat them equally, which is very difficult.

Multiple marriages lay a heavy responsibility on men, which is why Allah allowed having more than one wife only if the husband treats his wives equally. If a man has more than one wife, he must treat them all in an equal manner, emotionally and financially. For example, he has to provide separate living accommodation for each of his wives.

Since it is very difficult to be just with all wives, in practice, most of the Muslim men do not have more than one wife.

Therefore polygyny is not a rule or an order but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.

The reason for multiple wives in Islam was not to satisfy men’s desire and that's it, but for the welfare of the widows and the orphans of the wars. During war times, many women are unable to find husbands, and they might prefer to be a co-wife than no wife.

Also allowing multiple marriages is useful in case a man's wife is sterilized and can't give him the chance of being a father; here he has the right to marry another wife, and leaving the choice to her whether she wants to continue being his wife if he marries another woman or not

However men are prohibited from cheating on their wives, meaning a man can't marry another woman without the knowledge of his wife. He should tell her, for she might refuse such situation, and in this case it's totally her right if she asked for divorce.

In the pre-Islamic period, men used to have many wives.

One person had 11 wives and when he converted to Islam, he asked Prophet Mohammad (pbuh): "What should I do with my wives?"

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) replied:

"Divorce the all except four."

When non-Muslims hear about Prophet Mohammad’s multiple wives, they might conclude without much thought that he was a sensuous man. But the truth is that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was married to only one woman, Khadijah. He remained devoted to her from age 24 to 50. Only after her death, did the Prophet marry other women. The reason behind the Prophet (PBUH) marrying more than one wife was to spread Islam, and help the Islamic message to reach out to the world.

It is obvious that if he was after physical pleasure, he didn’t have to wait until he was more than fifty years old to start marrying other wives. His later marriages were for various reasons, some marriages were with the view to help widows whose husbands had been killed for the sake of Islam, others were to cement relationships with devoted followers like Abu Bakr Al-Sadeeq, may Allah be pleased with him. Some of his marriages were to build strong relations with various tribes that were at war with Muslims. In brief, Prophet Mohammad’s marriages always had Islamic motives.

Some of the non-Muslims misunderstand polygyny and claim that it is one of the negative aspects of Islam, but in fact Islam sought to control and regulate the number of wives rather than give free license. And the permission given to men to have more than one wife is controlled with the conditions

There is no god but Allah
Go to Top of Page

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:21:49  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
You maybe have right but look at very next Gambia man to you and you
will find out that he has a wife from home or at home mostly only one. It’s also maybe that we are living in the West.
But i have a friends at home most of them have only one Mainly those in the cities in upper land is little different.
About china and India’s is maybe they are having more women than men.
E.g. India is because the marriage systems .and china want have more men power?

But how it comes that you have a two static’s.


"In most human societies, females outnumber males. In the U.S. there are, at least, eight million more women than men. In a country like Guinea there are 122 females for every 100 males. In Tanzania, there are 95.1 males per 100 females".

Hmmm... I really cherish Musa Amadou Pembos's teachings, but I only trust the statistics I faked myself

quote:
Originally posted by serenata

Mbay, usually all around the world there are more boys than girls born. These days it may be even more, because those sexist i****s in India and China abort many female babies. Within the next ten years China will lack 40 bis 60 mio. women; this is why the Chinese government already sharpened the sentence for the abortion of females.

If there are not enough young men in Gambia it is because many of them leave the country.

Go to Top of Page

serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:27:54  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Thank you, Lemon Time, this is what I meant earlier. Islam regulated the existing polygyny.
Go to Top of Page

serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:30:11  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Mbay, I cited Musa Pembo (the link Momodou posted)

http://listserv.icors.org/SCRIPTS/WA-ICORS.EXE?A2=ind0403&L=GAMBIA-L&P=R26103&I=-3

Sorry for the confusion.

Edited by - serenata on 16 Nov 2006 16:32:20
Go to Top of Page

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:49:05  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
Sisters/mothers you deserved of righteousness as well as fairness,
some time we men are deceiving and forgotting about the hard 9/10 months as well as after that.

But be fair also to your sisters so anyone who can hold to her husband
with other women pls do so. But only if and not taking a risk of daily stress)
Go to Top of Page

serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  16:57:58  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Thank you, Mbay, your kind words are heard and understood. I don't think you are a man who wants to suppress women.
Go to Top of Page

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 16 Nov 2006 :  17:55:24  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
Respect! and no kiding!.



quote:
Originally posted by LEMON TIME

Fatwah and Counselling | Spotlight on Islam | Muslim Profiles

Go to Top of Page

LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  04:58:34  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
I still could not understand you Mbay,try writing in german then.

There is no god but Allah
Go to Top of Page

gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  09:04:03  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
The reason women out number men isnot that more women are born live. It is that more women SURVIVE childhood. They are genetically stronger! Bet thats a shock for some of you guys out there!!

Sadly in India and China they dont just abort baby girls, but murder them at birth too, sometimes burying them alive. Sometimes a slwoer death, just not caring for them and they fail to thrive. In India a hindu needs a son to perform his funeral ceremony according to tradition. In china because of the 'one baby' rule everyone wants BOYS.

Go to Top of Page

gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  09:07:30  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
Sister Omega, so if I marry a Gambian or Senegalese man in Gambia does he have to conform to uk law. Or when I am back in England earning the money teaching can he go and get three more wives?!

I would only ever marry someone if they and I set off with the INTENTION of being faithful. We all make mistakes in life and many marriages have rocky patches, but if you dont intend at least TRYING to be faithful I dont see the point in being married. You might aswell be single and live a single life!
Go to Top of Page

Sister Omega



United Kingdom
2085 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  12:02:02  Show Profile  Visit Sister Omega's Homepage Send Sister Omega a Private Message
Some do gambiabev and some don't it's the luck of the draw

Peace

sister Omega

Peace
Sister Omega
Go to Top of Page

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  17:48:16  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
Hoch Achtung, im ernst ! OK?
quote:
Originally posted by LEMON TIME

I still could not understand you Mbay,try writing in german then.

Go to Top of Page

serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  17:57:06  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Hey, Lemon Time, du sprichst Deutsch?! Tolles Ding. Aber sei vorsichtig - du weißt ja, wie gefährlich die Deutschen sind. Ein falsches Wort und - zack!, hast du ein blaues Auge...!
Go to Top of Page

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  21:28:17  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
he is internationally in language he speaks even serahuoleh.

quote:
Originally posted by serenata

Hey, Lemon Time, du sprichst Deutsch?! Tolles Ding. Aber sei vorsichtig - du weißt ja, wie gefährlich die Deutschen sind. Ein falsches Wort und - zack!, hast du ein blaues Auge...!

Go to Top of Page

kondorong



Gambia
4380 Posts

Posted - 17 Nov 2006 :  22:38:51  Show Profile Send kondorong a Private Message
whats going on. Can you translate please.
Go to Top of Page
Page: of 13 Previous Topic Topic Next Topic  
Previous Page | Next Page
 New Topic  Topic Locked
 Printer Friendly
| More
Jump To:
Bantaba in Cyberspace © 2005-2024 Nijii Go To Top Of Page
This page was generated in 0.2 seconds. User Policy, Privacy & Disclaimer | Powered By: Snitz Forums 2000 Version 3.4.06