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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
 Posted - 28 Jul 2007 : 22:38:01
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| Paper marriage is not a really married. I think it should be really love. |
gambian |
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Sister Omega
United Kingdom
2085 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jul 2007 : 23:52:23
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Update Eve, Bev changed her mind and is happily involved with an Englishman. Isn't that right Bev. It's funny how things can change in 5 months, and in this instance, I'm sure Bev is glad they did!
Peace
Sister Omega |
Peace
Sister Omega |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2007 : 08:04:49
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| This is my personal opinion : polygamy is wrong ! If you love and cherish , and absolutely happy with your wife why would you need another one? I would rather divorce my wife than subject her to the agony of polygamy. Many women in polygamous families in the Gambia , especially the first wives will tell you that they are in their marriage with resignation. Their marriage become devoid of everything except "a duty to God". You See polygamy and large families could arguably be useful in earlier agricultural societies , but I clearly do not see the need for it today... |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jul 2007 : 17:44:25
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| The only way to make a polygamous marriage more fair would be to allow the first wife to have a lover once her husband takes a second (third, fourth) wife. |
Edited by - serenata on 30 Jul 2007 17:45:30 |
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mansasulu
997 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jul 2007 : 19:12:00
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| Polygamy is a form of social justice. In societies where there is a huge disproportion in the ratio of females to males it is the only way to create an equitable and just social order. I would rather have a sister in a polygamous marriage than be on the shelves. |
"...Verily, in the remembrance of Allâh do hearts find rest..." Sura Al-Rad (Chapter 13, Verse 28)
...Gambian by birth, Muslim by the grace of Allah... |
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kiwi
Sweden
662 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jul 2007 : 19:12:01
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| Serenata, why a lover? Why not a second husband? One big happy family |
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njucks
Gambia
1131 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jul 2007 : 21:53:45
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quote:
Originally posted by kayjatta
.... You See polygamy and large families could arguably be useful in earlier agricultural societies , but I clearly do not see the need for it today...
i agree, the sectors showing growth are banking, finance, IT etc. i'm not sure if polygamy is right or wrong as most of the time it is based on religious teachings.
but it would be interesting to see how the society changes as more girls are educated and the cost of raising a single child skyrockets (school fees, study fees, uniforms, books etc). as women become more educated and get well paid jobs, they will space their children according to their careers and the fertility rate will drop. this is the case in the EU now, governments end up paying couples to have kids. we just need to put more girls to school.
economics will solve the problem, let be patient |
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toubab1020
12311 Posts |
Posted - 31 Jul 2007 : 01:23:38
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| That's an interesting point of view,I fully accept that women in our country are an untapped resource,one may even became president in the years to come,who knows! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 31 Jul 2007 : 09:14:06
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njucks, you are right up to a point. But part of the reason people have big families is as insurance for their old age and also becuase of the very high MORTALITY rate.
Education, women working and being allowed to plan their families by using effcient contraception are a big part of the picture too.
Education of women is very important, because then she educates her family.
Medical improvments are important too to bring down the mortality rate.
Pensions are also important to allow independent old age.
If all these things happen women will have a better quality of life, be more educated , healthier and free to use their brains.
But what will happen to traditional village life? It is a contradiction for me. I love Gammbian village communities, but hate to see intelligent women bored and restless and not respected by their husbands.
What well educated women would be happy to live with a husband with more than one wife, in a village where she does all the work and has several children to care for? Once you have left the village and got a decent education it must be very hard to return. So will the villages just be full of old people??????? |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 31 Jul 2007 : 10:56:38
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Bev . to question that villages will be full of old people is to assume that the villages will remain dilapidated and poor without the amenities found in urban settings. This inquiry may be valid considering the virtual exclusion of rural Gambia from major development efforts. Reuben K. Udo argued that "if we cannot develop the rural areas , then we might as well prepare the urban areas for more people..". This is the situation in the Gambia-the flight of the young from their rural roots because of lack of opportunities.
Also the concept that children as insurance could back fire in many instances because unless you can support their education they are likely to be liabilities to both the parents and to society at large. |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 31 Jul 2007 : 18:11:39
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| What about giving poor men opportunity to get married too? Stop paying the "brideprize" so there will be more availeble men and less women left for the rich guys who can afford several wiwes. |
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Sibo
Denmark
231 Posts |
Posted - 02 Aug 2007 : 10:58:12
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| because women lack education and decent jobs thats why they wanna marry rich men. n that way they make sure that they atleast will not have to wrry about their and their kids futures. I am ot saying that women should not give poor men a chance, but sadly this is the reality of life back home. Everybody is just watching their own backs |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 02 Aug 2007 : 11:25:52
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If a women has her own education and then her own earned income she is a lot less reliant on a man. The relationship can be more equal. That way a mans income is less important and love may be more important.
I think it works best as a partnership, where both parties bring something to the table. |
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Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 02 Aug 2007 : 11:51:43
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Climbing a tree from the top
Be mindful of not judging a peoples way of life from your own reality and not from their reality. About the wellbeing of a people when you don’t know what their everyday needs are.
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Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 02 Aug 2007 : 12:06:47
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Janko I agree, but most peoples needs are the same: to be loved for who they are and to have their basic needs for food, water, shelter taking care of. Most people would like to be part of a family, have some friends and have some sort of meaningful work to provide some financial security. Anything more is a 'want' rather than a need. In the west in the last 50 years this has got confused and people often say 'need' when they mean 'want'.
I also WANT to have a mobile phone, a car, a holiday or two each year,a dog, a cat, meals out, nice wine, Tv and DVDs, Cd player and CDs, computer with internet access, decent clothes and shoes, good books, nice furniture, ornaments and pictures, etc and so on. Of course I do realise the pleasure from these things is fleeting and shallow!
True happiness is found from within and from relationships with other humans. It has nothing to do with acquisition of material goods.
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