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To me a marriage will always be the attempt at a life times commitment to one person. Loyal. Faithful. Loving. Kind. Equal. A true partnership and soul mate.

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Originally posted by fee_sweetie


[blue][size=3][font=Verdana]Eh hello....were you not replying to my comments???? So yes my mum is Scottish but I am not, so the Kilted Scottish man wouldnt mean anything! Maybe this will help you understand!!!!!!!!!

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Originally posted by gambiabev

To me a marriage will always be the attempt at a life times commitment to one person. Loyal. Faithful. Loving. Kind. Equal. A true partnership and soul mate.

I know I expect alot!

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Originally posted by toubab1020

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Originally posted by MeMe

You'd indeed be wrong, T1020 as my daughter is actually a Dutch passport holder ......

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But you ?

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Originally posted by gambiabev

Toubab 1020 so it isnt a 'relationship' as such? No sex? She is just taken in....


That is kind if that is the case.

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Originally posted by turk

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???? What happens to the child after the age of 4 that makes a man able to take care of that child?????????????? The child hasnt grown an extra head?? It is the same child that was born 4 years ago!!!!!! Women know just as much or little as men about raising children, so why you think a mother is more fit is crazy?!?!?!?!?!

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Fee, I wish you get some assistance on parenting and development of the child. I recommend you to go to some social worker and tell them that you do not have intellectual ability to take care of a child as you do not understand child development concepts. Yes the child has now different head. The head of newborn is very different from infant, toddlers and finally 4 years old. It is NOT the same child was born 4 years ago.

The first 4 years are more significant for child than any other time period. 4 years ago, child was more vulnerable. the child can't talk, express herself, needs breastfeeding. 4 years later, the child start talking, mobile, express thoughts, have language, can tell you about hunger.

Fee, once your son was born, you produce milk in a process called lactation to feed him; often the your breast milk is your son sole nourishment for the first year or more of his life. I have tried but I was not able to produce milk as I did not have nipples with milk to feed my daughter. So I have use formula to feed her.

If you are not marsian, you would know that the most of the law resources, islamic sheria give the child to the mother until the child 6 years old, the secular law, western law does have bias as well, the most family law (the ones I know Canadian and Australian) do favour the mother to take care of the child in case there is custody issue if the mother does not have some very significant lack of capacity. If the child is under 4 years old, there are different dynamics for the custody law, and usually the mother gets the primary care of the child. This is a fact. Tell us something we don't know so the law should change to treat men and women equally when it comes to determination of custadian for the child under 4.

I am not saying the men are NOT capable to take care of child, i know it because, as a single father I have been taking care of my daughter without mother and that is great feeling. Is it an ideal situation for my daughter though? No.

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Just in Jamaica ??? I dont think so.........There are many women and men who find it acceptable to have many relationships at the one time all over the world.

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Have you ever been to Jamaica? Of course there are similar cases in all over the world, but in Jamaica and caribbean island, the family structure is different. Many families have this concept called 'visiting father' as the fathers and mothers mostly live seperately with seperate partner. Not that I am saying it is wrong or anything, but it is different family situation. No where in the world as much as Jamaican women have more freedom and asertiveness to choose another partner contrary to the other parts of world, particularly more traditional middleeast and southern asia

Here is some reading for you: http://family.jrank.org/pages/203/Caribbean-Families-Family-Structure.html

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??? Eh they do!!!! We live in the 21st century in the UK and many men do choose to stay at home and be the house husband and take full resopsibilty of the children while the woman works.

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Of course, they do? Duh. What about africa, what about caribbean, what about south america, what about india, china, indonesia, what about middleeast. Fee, your thinking process is not really academic. The world is not consist of your England, there are other parts of the world as well. That is why I said why not many parts of the world men can't take more responsibility at home, like the ones in europe. I was thinking globally unlike your local observation.

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I think its a bit harsh to insinuate that two out of three marriages that end with divorce is down to the fault of the women

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What is this? Noooooooo one tells that is 'fault' of the women, but increasing economic and social independent is 'reason' for increasing divorce rate. you confuse 'fault' and 'reason' are two different meaning. funny, me non-native-english speaker lecturing an English on Enlish. :)

In summary, the point is the marriage has not updated itself as institution while the relationships are now more complex.

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Correct me if I´m wrong Turk, but from what I understand from your last posting, you seem to put the marriage failing issue on women. Just becauce women have economic independence, they dont wanna stay married, is that what you are saying??????

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What I am saying that increasing economic and social status in the society (which is a good thing) contributing factor to divorce rates, and further this is a reason why marriage institution is failing as the marriage institution is defined on the basis that women being secondary as they do not have economic and social independence in past. I am not saying that let us take this from women, instead, marriage institution must change in order to keep up with change in society. Can you imagine, in christianity, divorce is not allowed?

Of course, previously, those women who had to stay in the marriage due to economic dependence, now does not have to stay in a relationship which is not satisfying. And there is nothing wrong with that. That is the progress in terms of women position, but failure in terms of marriage institution.

We must redefined marriage.

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Originally posted by MeMe

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Originally posted by gambiabev

Turk I agree with you about economics being a BIG part of a traditional marriage. If you have read Jane Austen or watched any of the adaptations she was a great commentator on social rules and marriage. Up until the 1960s things hadnt changed much from her day and for many women in many parts of the world it is still the same............

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Hello, Bev ... we've moved on a bit since Jane Austen's day!! And if we are going to be giving our honest opinion here then I think one of the most damaging situations for children is to be brought up by a parent who is addicted to either alchohol and/or drugs .... surely that is the most negative situation for any child to grow up in? Glass houses and bricks!!!

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Originally posted by Babylon

Great post!

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Maybe you and Turk should get together and have a child!!! Could you imagine .....Full of themselves, 2 heads and the ability to memorizse a dictionary and quote from it every 2 seconds!!!!!

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Maybe you and Turk should get together and have a child!!! Could you imagine .....Full of themselves, 2 heads and the ability to memorizse a dictionary and quote from it every 2 seconds!!!!!

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Originally posted by fee_sweetie

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Originally posted by Babylon

Great post!

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Maybe you and Turk should get together and have a child!!! Could you imagine .....Full of themselves, 2 heads and the ability to memorizse a dictionary and quote from it every 2 seconds!!!!!

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