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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
 Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 09:38:19
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Interesting topic.
I love going to The Gambia - been more than 20 times now. I am a middle aged white woman. And no, I've never had a Gambian boyfriend, never been "hit on" (apart from young lads - which ends up as a joke!). I don't go for love and romance - and why would I want to date someone half my age - or someone who is already married (as so many Gambian men are!... And Europeans!)
Yes, I support my driver's family and several of my work colleagues now support children in school (even though they will never meet them).
Moral of the story: life is what you make it - both from my side and from the side of my Gambian friends. The relationship is symbiotic. You find trust and love where you give it and HOW you give it .... Hey ho - better go to work now .. |
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lurker
509 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 11:06:14
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can't resist a comment or two.
lily is obviously a sensible , realistic lady with a solid psychology and stable outlook---unlike a lot of the middle aged tourists i have met.
there are categories here.
those who come to taste africa, its culture, its food, music, ambience, weather, beaches and have a good holiday.
those who wnat an ethnic experience, whatever that may entail.
there are those like me who wanted a hot beach holiday 18 years ago, fell in love with the place and then could not stop coming back.
there are those who want to help. i notice many contributors sponsor schoolchildren (as do i) or families etc. that is their choice.
then there are those who get inveigled in the whole industry of sex, bumsters, and hedonism.
there are loads of middle-aged , wrinkled, unattractive , haggard and sexually inactive people who come for the sex and the boost it gives their "ego" to "pull" a younger man or woman. they are sad people who need confidence boosting, sexual activity and to be "loved" as they get none at home. these are the muppets who are going to get stung - emotionally, sexually, financially.
there are those who come to pay for sex, do so and go home. these aspects are prevalent in every tourist resort, not just gambia.
the foolish women imparticular, but i have met loads of men who are just as gullible, would never ever trust a young "stud" in a club back home. they would not even be in a club back home to ever meet such bumsters here.
but they have a sunbathe, a few cocktails, get hit on , which makes them think they are 21 and gorgeous again. they go home and get a good servicing from a fit young person , who then goes for the financial kill, be it short or long term.
these silly people would never fall for it at home, but they do so in their thousands in gambia.
who is sorry for them? you, me?
not likely, i say. they are just silly people. conmen call them "marks". they are marks. the bumsters and hookers etc are doing what they do. personally. i do not blame them.that is their "job".
every one of us has been done finacially at some stage in gambia, i dare say.
it goes with the territory in every country's resorts. we learn by experience and must develope our own instincts regqarding financial "help" to poorer people.
the sex thing is a means to an end for some, a pleasure for others, and a goal for the rest.
but i can have no sympathy for those who come to bed young gambians and then get duly fleeced. this is a dead cert to happen and everyone has heard of it, and yet they always say " i thought he was different"!
a tourist woman i met in senegambia once, many years ago, told me that she and her daughter came to gambia for "black pudding". they spent the whole day in their hotel being serviced by local guys and then went cruising for new supplies in the evening.
these pondscum deserve every bit of fleecing they get. as long as the industry is there, the scenario will continue to exist. you cannot stop it. the articles in the papers are rehashed every few years and no-one learns.
it is human nature. |
Edited by - lurker on 23 Apr 2008 11:08:51 |
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MeMe
United Kingdom
541 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 11:47:49
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quote:
Originally posted by MADIBA
Meme,
Becos they are poor, want a better life and these women have the money to buy themslves good sex from strong and healthly lads. Sex that rejuvenates the old bones, as confessed by a certain woman in her fifties in th said article.
Becos they see these boys as illiterates, they used them as stallions, or baby making factories or domestic slaves. When they have accopmlished the mission or outlived their usefulness they are disgraced and dumped.
IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.
OK - had to reply .... some of you guys are so deluded .... just because a young man is "strong and healthy" doesn't automatically mean that they are purveyors of "good sex"! Nor does it make them "stallions"! And if as you say "it takes two to tango" then surely that implies these wannabe gigolos are indeed enabling this 'industry'? Demand without supply = ?? |
It is better to die standing than to live on your knees - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna |
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kayjatta
2978 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 11:49:17
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How about the European old men who vacation in Africa and elsewhere in the tropics and pursue young girls?
How about us, Africans (Gambians) in the diaspora who also vacation or visit home and prey on young girls, who normally would not accept us but for our status as "semesters"?
In all of these cases there is a heavy price to pay...
But the golden key, as others have already said, is to use your head and not your heart... |
Edited by - kayjatta on 23 Apr 2008 11:50:01 |
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toubab1020
12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 11:53:01
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There you have it from LURKER Bantaba readers, in a nutshell, all wrapped up in one posting, definitions as well!! Will the topic end there........................?
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"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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MADIBA
United Kingdom
1275 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 12:23:56
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Toubab,
You spoke for me too Lurker did it in a massive single stroke |
madiss |
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MeMe
United Kingdom
541 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 12:25:01
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| Wimps |
It is better to die standing than to live on your knees - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna |
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lurker
509 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 12:25:25
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hey toubab1020, good morning to you.
is that sarcasm ? |
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toubab1020
12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 12:33:21
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You may well say that but I could not possibly comment!!
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"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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MeMe
United Kingdom
541 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 13:24:20
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How strange ... the exact same topic is now being discussed on a Dutch/Gambia site due to the same article (with different photo from the Charlotte Rampling film and slightly shortened text) appearing in one of the Dutch newspapers today ... now that's sloppy journalism 
Here's the link for those who also speak Dutch http://vrouw.telegraaf.nl/3856033/_Exotische_liefde__onschuldig_of_levensgevaarlijk___.html?cid=rss
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It is better to die standing than to live on your knees - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna |
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toubab1020
12312 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 14:12:01
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Yes but you must admit that Charlotte Rampling is very good looking!!
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"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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MeMe
United Kingdom
541 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 14:14:19
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Ah, yes ... if only I'd aged that well  |
It is better to die standing than to live on your knees - Ernesto Guevara de la Serna |
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molly75
United Kingdom
86 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 18:22:19
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I read this article yesterday and it was very interesting. The book mentioned in the article "Romance on the road" is excellent and has a whole section all about Gambian men! I never went to Gambia looking for sex or a man, but like many people have mentioned many Gambian men hit on you and some..but not many are believeable!!! So i ended up in a 3 year relationship with one. I know it is stupid and i look at others and think they must be crazy to believe what these men say...yet i am one of those people that others must think are crazy!!!
I agree with u Bev about the long term plans some Gambians have, even my Gambian man told me that this happens, but usually in relationships where the woman is too old to have children, as children are very important in gambian culture. How do you tell is your man is genuine..i do not know??? |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 23 Apr 2008 : 18:53:19
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Molly75,
Q. How do you know if your man is genuine,
A Lay down some ground rules for yourself, like money, if you buy land and it is not in your name GUESS WHAT WILL HAPPEN. DON'T THROW THE MONEY AROUND, i cannot believe how many MEN AND WOMEN buy their Gambian friends expensive phones, one women spent 110 on a mobile phone WHAT NONSENSE.
Q Get real, stop asking questions and see what happens, IT IS CALLE, can you help me. One lady I met stopped helping her "Friend because as she observed, he never bought a drink or took her for a meal".
Q Take SEX out of the equation and what do you,
A a good friendship or an unhappy friend.
Q Smell the coffee,
A you are in Gambia, look around you see lots of couples who you know without asking questions if the toubab/gambian relationship based on money.
Q What do you mean by a good man/woman
A are you the good woman/man
Q would you do these things at home
A If Yes then do not be surprised at the result
If No, put a stop to it ASAP.
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sab
United Kingdom
912 Posts |
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