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 Divorced from your white woman?
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Babylon



Sweden
691 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  19:10:40  Show Profile Send Babylon a Private Message
Sibo, that is also how I see most african couples do. Both partners are usually working and helping eachother with the children, cooking and cleaning.
That is why I wonder what exactly is the gambian womens role, as twinkly said gambian women know their role as a wife and woman?
There are not many traditional housewives here in the west anymore and that is also because one household often can not survive with only one salary.
Most gambian women I know here are hardworking and do not fit into the housewife description Twinkly is giving.

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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  19:27:20  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
Sibo, the arrangement between your parents seems to me to be a modern day ideal to aspire to. Both adults working either full or part time, both adults taking a role in the house and in raising the children. That way both adults have a rewarding life and children see them working as a team. Also then the children arent 100% reliant on one parent should one leave, become ill or die.

The roles may be less clear cut, but as a team a think families operate the best. Grandparents and aunties and uncles also have a role to play in this. I was raised in a close working class family. I saw both sets of grandparents and both aunts and uncles every week. Plus I had neighbours that were like family.
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inez



279 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  19:42:32  Show Profile Send inez a Private Message
Now Iīm all confused, if I get this all right, itīs like this: Itīs ok for husband and wife to help eachother with bills, kids and domestic work so long they are both african? If it happens in mixed marriage, the poor man is put into slavery by cruel white woman?
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  19:43:32  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
Lemon time, what do you consider old and how old are you yourself?

I consider people up to 30 to be 'young'

From 30 to 45 young adult

From 45 to 70 middle aged/fit old

From 70 onwards the beginning of getting old and slowing down

My grandma is 94. She is still fit and healthy and of sound mind.

Age gaps I have talked about alot. In general I think 15 years plus or minus is best. I dont want to date someone my childrens age.

I dont think you should date someone abroad age wise that you wouldnt date at home. A holiday fling is one thing, a relationship something else entirely.

I am 47 and the Senegalese guy I dated must be about 30 now......It is stretching the point, but not out of the question.

Personally when I am 60 or 70 I hope to spend some time abroad in the sunshine in the winter, sometime working part time for a charity of some kind, some time with my grand children (not yet born!) And I think men ( especially young Gambian ones) will be in the past!!!

I will either be happily married and settled, or happily single and not bothered!

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Janko

Gambia
1267 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  20:23:16  Show Profile  Visit Janko's Homepage Send Janko a Private Message
gambiabev,
you have been talking about Gambian men and THEIR LIFE PLAN strategy whiles having a Senegalese boyfriend/husband.
Help me understand: “I went to Gambia and THOUGHT I fell in love and was fallen in love with.”


Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  20:34:41  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
I fell in love, but he was looking for a vunerable women to target.
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Janko

Gambia
1267 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  22:35:36  Show Profile  Visit Janko's Homepage Send Janko a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev

I fell in love, but he was looking for a vunerable women to target.



Is/was he Gambian or Senegalese

Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  22:40:09  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
He was from Senegal, working in Gambia. His parents were one Gambian and one from Senegal.
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Janko

Gambia
1267 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2007 :  22:49:49  Show Profile  Visit Janko's Homepage Send Janko a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev

He was from Senegal, working in Gambia. His parents were one Gambian and one from Senegal.



Am sorry if am being persistent, you donīt have to answer my question.
Was he a Gambian or Senegalese?

Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy
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Sister Omega



United Kingdom
2085 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  00:36:14  Show Profile  Visit Sister Omega's Homepage Send Sister Omega a Private Message
Interesting, what a muddled discussion Babylon asks a simple question which is of course difficult to answer but not completely impossible. We all understand that the reasons why Gambian men marry white women or EU Residentis because they can gain easier access into Europe. It is a trade off between a lonely sad woman meeting young man who is looking for an escape route from poverty to satisfying the wants and needs of his extended family. With a few sweet words and some passionate moments he's married and over here. Let's face it what other options did he have?

Now who are we really to judge whether or not this relationship will last or not? Naturally we will with the trend already set the probability of such marriages lasting for more than 5 years is few and far between. Then again for a lot of marriages in the West this is rare nowadays.

Interracial marriages are difficult enough when built on a solid foundation let alone if the foundation is built on shifting sand. The same applies to all different types of marriage combinations age gaps, transethnic whatever.

Once a non EU resident gains permenant status they have choices. So, if they were maltreated or had no intention of staying married to their EU Resident Spouse then ultimately divorce is inevitable. Creating a clean page for a new beginnings with a new wife or partner, and this is more likely to be someone of the same nationality because you can take the man out of a country but not the country out of the man. So if his preference is Gambia then it is logical that his next partner would be a Gambian or someone who appreciates his culture.

peace

Sister Omega

Peace
Sister Omega
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Janko

Gambia
1267 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  02:19:44  Show Profile  Visit Janko's Homepage Send Janko a Private Message
Nevertheless, but separating from, or rejecting, or distrusting, or dumping a Senegalese boyfriend/husband and blame it on Gambian men or much worst on African men, is convincingly catharsic

Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy
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LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  09:12:40  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
Well said Janko.

There is no god but Allah
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Sibo



Denmark
231 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  09:39:55  Show Profile Send Sibo a Private Message
Inez
No one said that sharing responsebilities is only ok in an african to african marriage. What was said is that some white women let thier african husband work a lot, make him pay the bills by himself and do the household as well. Thats when she is using him, not when they equally share the resopsebililies. For a fora relationship to work in harmony there has to be understanding between the partners in the relationship and when it lacks it does not work.
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Sibo



Denmark
231 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  09:44:39  Show Profile Send Sibo a Private Message
Babylon
I think wife roles in gambia are changing a lot these days. More women are getting educated and are working outside the home as men are. There are even families where the wife is the working and the husband stays at home. I am not saying that they want it to be like that but the husband might be unemployed for one reason or the other and might as well stay home with the kids
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 31 Aug 2007 :  10:07:35  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
He was raised as a child in Senegal, but his father was Gambian and when he died the family came to Gambia to live in the family compound in Serrekunda. Now he has a Gambian passport and works in Gambia to support his extended family. He is really a mix of both Gambian and Sengegalese.
Janko I dont understand why this is so vital in the discussion?

I finished with him because I was given definate proof by someone on this bantaba that he was lying to me and was know by others to be a 'conman.' I am not prepared to give the identity of the person because they told me the information in confidence.

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