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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
 Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 14:59:14
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| You were the one talking in this forum about your 'family matter', remember. As i understand it, you all live in Sweden. I'm sure the Swedish law doesn't allow you to be married to two people at the same time. So, the situation you will be creating will be 'one wife, one mistress'. Not uncommon, even for Europeans. So as far as i am concerned, you have a wife and you have a girlfriend on the side. Bigamy/poligamy is prohibited in the country where you chose to live. You can say 'to hell with that, i make my own laws' - but if you would marry again, you would be committing a crime, you would be acting against the law. |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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inez
279 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:36:09
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
You were the one talking in this forum about your 'family matter', remember. As i understand it, you all live in Sweden. I'm sure the Swedish law doesn't allow you to be married to two people at the same time. So, the situation you will be creating will be 'one wife, one mistress'. Not uncommon, even for Europeans. So as far as i am concerned, you have a wife and you have a girlfriend on the side. Bigamy/poligamy is prohibited in the country where you chose to live. You can say 'to hell with that, i make my own laws' - but if you would marry again, you would be committing a crime, you would be acting against the law.
The Swedish law doesnīt allow anyone to be married to two people at the same time, thatīs true, but there is one more way to do it. The way itīs done here is that man divorces his first wife but only "in paper", only legally, then he marries the next one and so on, but he still continues his life with the ex-wifes at the same time. those ex-wifes are having babies with the man every year but are seen as single mothers and will be able to have support from the government and tax payers for their children and for their apartments...lots of somalians do that here. Itīs their business so far they donīt apply for the help from the covernment is my personal point of wiew. Men having several wiwes has to support them too, or? |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:42:59
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He:Ouch!  
She:What a Ouch 
He: Why all this Fry oil on me instead this oil with the chicken i bought for our Friday diner so that i will be fit tomorrow saturday for my NEW WIFE the the NEW QUEEN in house
Because SHE DONT HAVE TO COOK!
She: Well you chose to have wife after me, If you don't belong to me ALONE then go with your second skin to her and see if she still interested on you or your bank account!
He: NO i will NOT go ! since you burn me out, then its you who will take care of me till the last breath of my!
She: There is nothing remains on you, so what will i care of,
And if i need you then you will not be my Friday-grill!
He:
quote:
Originally posted by SANTANFARA
a senegalise lady poured a boiling cooking oil on her sleeping husband's head because the man wants to marry second wife.
haj this is painful ,may be the man is kamarakundaka. the man is gambian and wife senegalise. watchout guys ,the ladies say it is enough ... alkali kondo did you hear .some alkalos have double figure .i am worrying for my captain friend.
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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:43:23
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quote:
Originally posted by inez
The Swedish law doesnīt allow anyone to be married to two people at the same time, thatīs true, but there is one more way to do it. The way itīs done here is that man divorces his first wife but only "in paper", only legally, then he marries the next one and so on, but he still continues his life with the ex-wifes at the same time. those ex-wifes are having babies with the man every year but are seen as single mothers and will be able to have support from the government and tax payers for their children and for their apartments...lots of somalians do that here. Itīs their business so far they donīt apply for the help from the covernment is my personal point of wiew. Men having several wiwes has to support them too, or?
I suggest you talk to those who are concerned in the cases you mention. The Swedish law is here for all of us. In the end it is up to the women to accept or not. Further more, we are not looking for children. We have enough of them and grandchildren too. This case can only be deciaded by God and we tre. No body else. Even the women activists have been in contact with my first one and she told them off. Inez, I suggest you leave us alone too. I am not here to discuss my wives with you unknown people. I just mentioned it for some brothers and the case in our country.
All women activists must take their mouths off my family. We are the only ones concerned. I am not looking for an opinoin on this bantaba.
I hope you people who are redy to attack can simply lay down your arms on this one. |
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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:49:20
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
Lemon Time, you are not getting it: YOU will not have a second etc. wife, YOUR WIFE will get a second etc. husband. You will just be one in a row, having to wait patiently until it is your 'turn'. Like the idea? No, of course not - just like most women wouldn't like it.
Alhassan, maybe you will think (understandably) that it is none of our business: but i am so curious how you 'doubly rewarded' your first wife now that she has consented for you to have a second one.
Anna,
Curiouscity kills the cat. I am not in the position to tell you. This is not a debatable matter but private. I just happened to mention it but do not need second taughts. It is the women who decide. Not me. |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:51:33
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| As far as i am concerned, you can do whatever you like Alhassan. But don't call it 'two wives' - it is adultery. |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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Alhassan
Sweden
813 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 15:58:39
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
As far as i am concerned, you can do whatever you like Alhassan. But don't call it 'two wives' - it is adultery.
Them leave me to comit adultry. It is between God and me. Is'int it? |
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anna
Netherlands
730 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 16:07:19
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| Alhassan, let's end this debate - i have to confess i will never understand it. It's between you and your conscience in my eyes. It is just a fact that you are acting against the law (if you marry the second woman, that is). If not, you are an adulterer. In some African countries women (only women!) are stoned to death for this thing. I am not an activist, feminist or whatever -ist, just a women who doesn't understand and would never accept a situation like yours, but if your wife agrees to it - fine! Have a happy life, all three of you. |
When an old African dies, it is as if a whole library has burnt down.
Amadou Hampate Ba (Mali) |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 16:10:58
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Soon or later it will not be any more problems, at list for us with a different culture-religion with here.
there is signal of it even if its fixed with some difficulty.
Like France its almost common-the same as you point out.
quote:
Originally posted by inez
The Swedish law doesnīt allow anyone to be married to two people at the same time, thatīs true, but there is one more way to do it. The way itīs done here is that man divorces his first wife but only "in paper", only legally, then he marries the next one and so on, but he still continues his life with the ex-wifes at the same time. those ex-wifes are having babies with the man every year but are seen as single mothers and will be able to have support from the government and tax payers for their children and for their apartments...lots of somalians do that here. Itīs their business so far they donīt apply for the help from the covernment is my personal point of wiew. Men having several wiwes has to support them too, or?
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 16:59:03
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Hmm... a difficult topic. Generally, I'd say that as long as others are not affected, everybody may live as he/she likes. Chacun ā son goût.
Anna, of course you are right - marrying a second partner is against the Swedish (Dutch, German, French, US, UK... Japanese, Chinese, Indian, etc. etc.) laws.
I personally prefer (serial? ) monogamy. And I think that if there were laws permitting polygamy, they should be fair, giving men and women the right to marry more than one partner. As a tribute to reality , and to biological facts (though men always try to deny it, genetic diversity is a strong demand of our species).
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remyspam
15 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 17:26:03
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I never understood polygamy.
Maybe it's my Dutch upbringing, but I've never fallen in love with more than one person.
Personally I don't even believe it's possible to truly love more than one person.
I can, sort of, understand it from an economic point of view why one man can have multiple wives.
But maybe this is the whole point, the definition of marriage?
Is marriage a seal of love or is marriage a financial institute?
I think that's the question, and when you have answered that question you can say if your definition of marriage allows for multiple wives.
I, personally, disprove of polygamy. It is, in my eyes, not done, because marriage is a seal of love and not a seal of bank accounts and easy sex.
But apart from my personal views I've got two questions:
If a woman has a good job and she can (financially) support multiple husbands, is she allowed to do that by the Quran? (although I think not)
They say (or so I've read), even though in public it isn't visible, that a lot of women in The Gambia/Western Africa also have multiple men (whom, ofcourse, don't know that that's the case), is that hidden culture or just bad gossip? |
Edited by - remyspam on 16 Mar 2007 17:28:35 |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 18:06:15
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quote:
Originally posted by anna
As far as i am concerned, you can do whatever you like Alhassan. But don't call it 'two wives' - it is adultery.
What is adultery. Is adultery a legal term or is it a religious term. As far as i know, Christianity is not against two wives. The Bible never said about it.
If we go by the example of Jesus, then Christian men are not supposed to be married. Jesus never married in the first place.
We are recently been told through Da Vinci that Jesus may have had a child with Mary Magdelan and raised the whole issue of the Holy Grail probably in France or in Scotland where the Knights Templars, who fought for Christainity may have moved with the daughter of Jesus. I dont believe in it but its out there to be proven wrong.
If we look at the Old Testament, Abraham had two wives, Sarah and Hajar. From Sarah came Isaac whose line had Moses, David Solomon etc. Hajar was an Egyptian woman who had Ismael and from whose line came Mohammed. Now tell me why it was ok for Abraham and not for us.
The idea of a one man one wife is a recent cultural idea not a RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE.
Tell me i am wrong. I need proof.
i DONT HAVE AN OPINION AS TO WHETHER ONE SHOULD MARRY MANY BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHY IT SHOULD BE CALLED ADULTERY AND WHAT RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE SAID IT WAS ADULTERY. |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 18:33:18
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| Sorry Kondorong, monogamy as a concept of marriage is much, much older. It was practiced in ancient Egypt (except for the Pharao, who had one Queen, but many 'Little Queens' = concubines), Greece and Rome. The Aztecs, the Mayans, and the Incas were monogamous. Catholics and Protestants have always been monogamous. As far as I know, the only Christian religious community living polygamous are the Mormons. |
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kondorong
Gambia
4380 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 18:35:37
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quote:
Originally posted by serenata
Sorry Kondorong, monogamy as a concept of marriage is much, much older. It was practiced in ancient Egypt (except for the Pharao, who had one Queen, but many 'Little Queens' = concubines), Greece and Rome. The Aztecs, the Mayans, and the Incas were monogamous. Catholics and Protestants have always been monogamous. As far as I know, the only Christian religious community living polygamous are the Mormons.
When i say recent, i dont mean yesterday. Christianity is only 2000 years old and that out of evolution is very recent. Infact, Jesus only preached for only two years before he "died".
Even EXODUS(movement of Jah people, if i may take a Rasta definition) is very recent(5000 yrs) compared with human civilisation. So smaller Queens are not wives you want to tell me.
By the way Abraham preceedded the Maya, Aztecs and the Pharoahs and yet, Abraham had two wives.
Dont dodge the question come straight. IF ANY ONE ON BANTABA CAN SHOW ME IN THE BIBLE WHERE IT STATES MORE THAN ONE WIFE IS A SIN, I WILL DONATE D2000.00 TO THE MATERNITY WARD IN BANJUL.
You have not answered the question. Which chapter in the Bible says that you can only have one wife. Show me.
"THOU SHALL NOT LIVE BY BREAD ALONE" |
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remyspam
15 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2007 : 18:41:39
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quote:
Originally posted by kondorong
You have not answered the question. Which chapter in the Bible says that you can only have one wife. Show me.
Does it matter?
(sorry to interrupt) |
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