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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
 Posted - 08 Jan 2007 : 23:00:11
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quote:
Originally posted by Eve
For the tobaski, are the men with two to three wivies buying sheeps for all of them?
EVE .NOW YOU ARE HAVE MISSED THE POINT ON TOBASKI. TO SLAUGHTER A RAM IS NOT CONPULSORY. IT IS FOR THOSE WHO CAN AFFORD IT . IT IS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN. IN ISLAM MEN ARE NOT HIGHER THAN WOMEN IN ANY RELIGIOUS ACTIONS. A WOMAN CAN SLAUGHTER A RAM WHILST THE HUSBAND DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY TO BUY ONE.
WITH two or three wifes the man can slaughter a cow ,ram,sheep ,goat etc. he only need one . if the wifes are working or doing business and they can afford it ,it is oblogatory upon them to do it for themself. no one need to borrow money just to slaughter the ram .every thing in islam is according to ones means. the husband can pay for the wifes if he can afford it for all of them ,he cannot do it for some and leave others. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jan 2007 : 13:35:37
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| If they can able to afford two to three women, then they should be able to slaughter the ram, for both of them. And it's happen that a man got new wife and for this tobaski, he took his sheep to the new wife and the old wife has nothing with her children. shame on men, this is 2bad. |
gambian |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 10 Jan 2007 : 21:01:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Eve
If they can able to afford two to three women, then they should be able to slaughter the ram, for both of them. And it's happen that a man got new wife and for this tobaski, he took his sheep to the new wife and the old wife has nothing with her children. shame on men, this is 2bad.
2bad indeed.THOSE MEN ARE MUNTIGERS.
BUT MARRYING TWO WIFES AND TOSBASKI ARE SEPRATE THINGS. I WOULD RATHER THE MEN STICK TO ONE WIFE BUT IN GAMBIA THERE A SURPLUS 200,000 WOMEN EVEN IF EVERY MAN GOT MARRIED. POLYGAMY IS A CONTROVERCIAL TOPIC SO I WILL START A NEW TOPIC . WE CAN DEBATE THE GOOD AND BAD OF IT. REMEMBER UNREGULATED POLYGAMY IS ALL OVER THE WORLD EVEN IN BRITAIN. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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toubab1020
12311 Posts |
Posted - 10 Jan 2007 : 21:08:50
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Santanfara I await your start on that topic
Should get some really interesting answers from some of those who visit Bantaba,it will be a really good debate I am sure! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Edited by - toubab1020 on 10 Jan 2007 21:12:00 |
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Eve
Gambia
344 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jan 2007 : 15:01:49
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| They will be runing for this topic, it's not easy to answer it. |
gambian |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jan 2007 : 22:46:30
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There is NO polygamy in the UK. Men are only allowed one wife and if they go for another thatis bigamy and they go to prison.
However lots of people have affairs. This isnot like a marriage, usually it is just about passion and sex.But if they really do love each other, they have to get a divorce before they can marry each other.
In the UK we have what is known as serial mogonomy! Men have more than one partner. but not at the same time! (or perhaps with a little overlap whilst it is sorted!) People used to get married and stay married for life. That is still the ideal, but alot of people dont manage it. They will divorce and then start dating again.
Polygamy is against British culture. We feel 1:1 intimacy is the most important and special part of being married. We wouldnt tolerate sharing that with another women. |
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jan 2007 : 23:30:44
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| Actually, I think polygamy does happen in the Uk. It's just not legal under UK law. But in some communities it is evident - British culture is a diverse entity!! |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jan 2007 : 23:46:42
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| If it happens it is illegal. |
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jan 2007 : 23:48:41
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| So is sex under 16 but we all know that happens.... |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 31 Jan 2007 : 23:27:55
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quote:
Originally posted by Lily
So is sex under 16 but we all know that happens....
that's correct lily. people are in denial , i have studied in england for a long time and i certainly know what is u.k norms inside out. i have been fortunate to be tought by both consercative and liberal british people ,i was once incense by an ex-military lecturer who call non-british as ???? i wouldn't mension that word but there are also some very pleasant british lecturers who embrase us fully .the issue with having more than one partner is that islam promote monogamy but is also realistic with the societal set-up. it's ok to say we don't do this and do that but the realities are different in most cases . in the offices i worked many men bourst about having a multiple of partners and a conversation in male circle usually base arround women and how many one has . this is what islam call unregulated polygamy whereby men run away from their responsibilities . eddy murphy was the lastes example ,and i believe this is disgraceful . taking once responsilities should be compulsory. i was watching the geremy kelly show this morning and it is mostly about men denying being the father of a certain child .what goes on in the child mind ,only he can tell . there are several web-site promoting married couples to have affairs and also places to do swinging ,if this is not unregulated polygamy i don't know what that is . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 12:59:05
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Lemon you were right what you said at the begin of this Drama topic 3 month ago. quote Lemon :Eve this Topic is a Fire starter
maybe the longes debate but will comes a conclusion 
I'm afraid not because of the deeps differences in views of culture /religions which will not be wiped away so easily but why all this tripping about Polygamy /monogamy ? some of us are not willing to see what is behind it & dreaming of changing it is a fly-by-night .
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LEMON TIME
Afghanistan
1295 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 13:52:35
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Eve any MAN that can getway with having 4 wives will surely do .IF i ever go to heaven ill ask Allah for many wivies.ISLAM allows men to have up to 4 wives IF you CAN treat them EQUALLY. |
There is no god but Allah |
Edited by - LEMON TIME on 01 Feb 2007 13:54:22 |
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Lily
United Kingdom
422 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 15:34:45
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In the end, if a man accepts his responsibilities (as you say Santafara) and all the women are treated equally (as you say Lemon) AND the women all agree (and there's no pressure, says Lily) and, finally, they all love and care for any children which may result...... what's the objection?
Wouldn't be for me, personally, though I also have to say I think the one person relationship for life is all to rare........
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 15:58:03
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Finding one person to love and care for and spend your whole life with is difficult. Add into that the pressures of working and raising a family and it becomes almost impossible. 
But just because it is very difficult it doesnt mean it shouldnt be held up as an ideal to aim for. I hope that both my daughters will marry for love, have children and stay married for life. I still believe in the fairy tale!  I wish that for them.
If a women is financially independent would she CHOOSE to be the second or third wife? Or is it out of necessity to survive?
I can see it is a practical solution to practical problems such as death of a spouse and children to raise.
Emotionally I couldnt cope. I couldnt play second fiddle to any other women! Faithfulness is an important aspect of any long lasting intimate relationship and affairs, or second wives are both damaging to that.
Perhaps your husband taking a second wife is better than him running off with a younger women and abandoning his responsibilities as often happens in the uk?!!
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LEMON TIME
Afghanistan
1295 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 18:54:20
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| Are you the same Bev,you seem like a Muslim wife already. |
There is no god but Allah |
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