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 Cultural guide: General
 One man two to three wives
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Eve



Gambia
344 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  12:52:52  Show Profile Send Eve a Private Message
How are you guys making three women in yr heart at one time? this is what i will never believe in, i can't understand men with two to three wives, he will never be able to make both of them happy.[/i]

gambian

mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  14:24:05  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message
So is not possible to get more loves in (I don’t means of waves) but simple loves like liking more people in once heart?
I‘ve only one and I wish to die only with her in me as wife. But every one is not like me.


quote:
Originally posted by Eve

How are you guys making three women in yr heart at one time? this is what i will never believe in, i can't understand men with two to three wives, he will never be able to make both of them happy.[/i]

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jambo



3300 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  15:38:04  Show Profile Send jambo a Private Message
did the notion of multiple wives start with "protection", there was a time when the number of women outnumbered men, so for protection a man took another woman, but to give her respectablity he married her.
that is one theory and this travels the world, because other cultures practice multiple wives.
Also some men married into their families, ie their first or second cousin and where not allowed to have a say in who they married, definately in asian society this was the case. But after some children and at least 10 years of marriage he took a second wife of his own choosing.
Most of the times the first wife is okay because she is set in her own right and will always be NUMBER ONE wife. It would never enter her head to divorce him because he has taken a second wife. sometimes it is not happiness, but respect, contentment and security that matters to the first wife.
I am sure others will say different, but for some families it works.
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LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  16:03:23  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
You are right Jambo and mbay.Eve this Topic is a Fire starter,Allah Allow Muslims up to Four Wives if they can be treated EQUALLY.

There is no god but Allah

Edited by - LEMON TIME on 14 Nov 2006 18:58:09
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  17:55:20  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
I presume Allah was a man then?!
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Eve



Gambia
344 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:11:35  Show Profile Send Eve a Private Message
Aha that is the good excuse all muslims men taking, just to have more than one wife, but they never treat them equal, as the Islam said should be, in the sense, they making woman suffering, and they will never run things at home as it should be.

gambian
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mbay

Germany
1007 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:19:31  Show Profile Send mbay a Private Message

WHAT!?

quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev

I presume Allah was a man then?!

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Eve



Gambia
344 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:20:14  Show Profile Send Eve a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by mbay

So is not possible to get more loves in (I don’t means of waves) but simple loves like liking more people in once heart?
I‘ve only one and I wish to die only with her in me as wife. But every one is not like me.


[quote]Originally posted by Eve

How are you guys making three women in yr heart at one time? this is what i will never believe in, i can't understand men with two to three wives, he will never be able to make both of them happy.[/i]


Okay you may like, but i mean not to LOVE, they are not the same.

gambian
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serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:21:51  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Uuh, Gambiabev...

I saw that polygamy can cause a lot of stress.

But polygamy is not always following the Muslim pattern, there are also societies (like in ancient Tibet, or with several South American tribes) where the wife has/had more than one husband. Interesting fact is that in most cases the allowed number of husbands is five. Also in the Indian National Epos, The Mahabharata, Princess Draupadi has five husbands, the Pandava brothers. But even Draupadi had her favourite, Arjuna, the warrior. It was the fact that she favoured one of the brothers which led to doom... Deep wisdom.
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Eve



Gambia
344 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:30:23  Show Profile Send Eve a Private Message
Are the women should be treated like this always? and the woman can't have more than one husband.

gambian
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serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:39:33  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Of course this is not at all fair. If there is polygamy, both, men and women, should be allowed to marry more than one partner. But then it would be a nice mess...!!

I know a man in Gambia who has three wives. All day long you hear them shouting at each other; there is never any peace in this house. I think the man regards women as something like cows - if he likes, he puts a new cow into the stable, and if they get along with each other or not doesn't interest him. But now he got what he deserves - he went bankrupt, and because of the lack of money the trouble between the wives is even greater. I only feel sorry for the ladies.
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LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  18:57:44  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
As i said this topic is going to be Too HOT,Bev i really dont know if Allah is a Man Or not but men are allow four wives which is good to our advantage.If i can affort Four wives then i will die happy i guess.

There is no god but Allah

Edited by - LEMON TIME on 14 Nov 2006 19:01:09
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kondorong



Gambia
4380 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  19:06:52  Show Profile Send kondorong a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by serenata

Of course this is not at all fair. If there is polygamy, both, men and women, should be allowed to marry more than one partner. But then it would be a nice mess...!!

I know a man in Gambia who has three wives. All day long you hear them shouting at each other; there is never any peace in this house. I think the man regards women as something like cows - if he likes, he puts a new cow into the stable, and if they get along with each other or not doesn't interest him. But now he got what he deserves - he went bankrupt, and because of the lack of money the trouble between the wives is even greater. I only feel sorry for the ladies.





Money is not the cause of the problem. In Hollywood with all millions and ofcourse marrying one partner, divorce is higher there than anywhere on the planet. Some marriages last less than three days.


There are people married with one wife and well to do in the Gambia and yet the house is not a peaceful one. Its a combination of complex social ingredients best explaine by partners in each marriage.
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kondorong



Gambia
4380 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  19:10:01  Show Profile Send kondorong a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev

I presume Allah was a man then?!



I consider this very offensive to believers in God and i beg to take leave of this topic.

I can see a rough ride down hill. Brace yourselves and by the way have a helmet on.
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serenata



Germany
1400 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  19:13:19  Show Profile Send serenata a Private Message
Kondorong, if divorce rates are not higher in polygamous countries like Gambia it is probably because the women depend on the men.

"Its a combination of complex social ingredients best explaine by partners in each marriage." - It is funny: Many of the men I asked about polygamy see no or little problems, while ALL women didn't like such a marriage. Can you explain this, please?
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LEMON TIME



Afghanistan
1295 Posts

Posted - 14 Nov 2006 :  19:23:08  Show Profile Send LEMON TIME a Private Message
Everyone has a right to his/her own opinion so we can debate in a civilize way without being offensive to each other.

There is no god but Allah
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