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toubab
Gambia
92 Posts |
 Posted - 21 Sep 2006 : 21:46:07
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| I'm sure you can take the flack!! But the Gambia I'm priviledged to live in , is very different to the one I visited as a tourist - that was the first shock I had to get over!I'm not critcising the country as some may think, merely saying how I experience everyday life, through the people I talk to, sit on bush taxis with, shop in the market with,every day.Today when I went to get tapalapa, a woman was buying half a potato! The past year has been one huge learning curve for me,and put a few things into perspective. I now understand why some people are so desparate to leave and some never to return, which is a great shame as Africa needs its people. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 21 Sep 2006 : 22:51:48
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quote:
Originally posted by kassma
quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
Well toubab, I know Gambians aint exactly starving like in Darfur. Or what is it you´re trying to tell me toubabou?
babylon, i hate to say it, but the more you talk the more ignorant you sound. there are lots of Gambians, who go to bed without food, lots of Gambians and a relative of mind confirmed that when she just visited Gambia.the state of Gambia right now is very sad and for you to say, oh its a muslim nation and everyone shares with others is ignorance. when there is nothing to share, there is nothing to share. you might be able to sit and say i would never prostitute, but have you every been desperate, have you ever had to listen to your children cry all night cause they were hungry, have you ever thought you had no way to move on cause you had no money, please, think before you speak.btw, being married to a Gambian does not make you a Gambian expert
What, the word IGNORANT coming out from YOUR big racist mouth? Oh Boy, I must be in real deep **** then!
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 21 Sep 2006 : 23:00:38
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| Babylon, maybe you didn't visit Gambia for a longer time and your knowledge about the country needs to be updated. Oh yes, there is hunger in Gambia. Like in many other countries of this brave new globalized world the gap between the rich and the poor became deeper. |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2006 : 02:55:50
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quote:
What, the word IGNORANT coming out from YOUR big racist mouth? Oh Boy, I must be in real deep **** then!
Don't get so upset please,because someone has a difference of opinion to you,what was said was perhaps harsh and perhaps a bit too personal but I doubt if that was the intention. Chill Sister!! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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kassma
334 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2006 : 04:12:05
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| its just, for a person to NOT be Gambian, NOT live in Gambia but feels like they can judge others, come on, |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2006 : 08:03:44
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I thought you seem to be doing the judging?!
For my Gambian friends having enough money for food is a constant worry. OK its not the same as starving, but they do go hungry. In villages people may share in the old way, but in the tourist areas it is dog eat dog. Life is extremely tough for the beach boys.
I do see a snap shot in time when I go to Gambia. People tell me life is getting harder because the price of rice is getting higher and higher and that takes almost all their money. This is a common theme where ever I go.
Also just because I am not Gambian and dont permanently live in the Gambia, doesnt mean I can't have compassion for The Gambian people. I have a deep empathy for their condition. When I go to Gambia I have a few people I try to help.
I also go to Gambia for a rest and a holiday as well as going in land on my adventure! I go out and about socialising. If as part of that if I was to meet a nice Gambian man and have sex with him...well where is the harm in that? If we are both adults? And noone is being forced? I really dont see the problem with that! Aslong as safety is considered and it is a happy experience. Who is anyone harming?
Kassma will no doubt think I am a white women with no morals.
I do have a moral code I live my life by, its just not the muslim one. If men can sleep with women if they like them, why isnt it ok for women to do the same? The liberation movement in UK in 60s and 70s was about getting rid of these anti women ideas.
I was bought up a christian and christians believe (or used to when I was growing up!)that sex is for procreation and that sex outside of marriage is WRONG. It's a SIN. Of course the world has changed alot in the last 40 years or so and many Christians would now think that is too rigid.
I am not a christian anymore, but a humanist. I dont think sex is a sin. I think as long as you care about the other person, dont do anything to harm them and it is fully consensual then sex is wonderful and can be great fun!
I am looking forward to Kassmas response to this!!!! |
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toubab1020
12314 Posts |
Posted - 22 Sep 2006 : 11:26:24
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Great, another sensible persons view,go on!! I think I am going to enjoy this discussion. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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kassma
334 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 01:43:44
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quote:
Originally posted by gambiabev
I thought you seem to be doing the judging?!
For my Gambian friends having enough money for food is a constant worry. OK its not the same as starving, but they do go hungry. In villages people may share in the old way, but in the tourist areas it is dog eat dog. Life is extremely tough for the beach boys.
I do see a snap shot in time when I go to Gambia. People tell me life is getting harder because the price of rice is getting higher and higher and that takes almost all their money. This is a common theme where ever I go.
Also just because I am not Gambian and dont permanently live in the Gambia, doesnt mean I can't have compassion for The Gambian people. I have a deep empathy for their condition. When I go to Gambia I have a few people I try to help.
I also go to Gambia for a rest and a holiday as well as going in land on my adventure! I go out and about socialising. If as part of that if I was to meet a nice Gambian man and have sex with him...well where is the harm in that? If we are both adults? And noone is being forced? I really dont see the problem with that! Aslong as safety is considered and it is a happy experience. Who is anyone harming?
Kassma will no doubt think I am a white women with no morals.
I do have a moral code I live my life by, its just not the muslim one. If men can sleep with women if they like them, why isnt it ok for women to do the same? The liberation movement in UK in 60s and 70s was about getting rid of these anti women ideas.
I was bought up a christian and christians believe (or used to when I was growing up!)that sex is for procreation and that sex outside of marriage is WRONG. It's a SIN. Of course the world has changed alot in the last 40 years or so and many Christians would now think that is too rigid.
I am not a christian anymore, but a humanist. I dont think sex is a sin. I think as long as you care about the other person, dont do anything to harm them and it is fully consensual then sex is wonderful and can be great fun!
I am looking forward to Kassmas response to this!!!!
man!! that's my point!!! a man, not a boy desperate for money, anyways, i think its pretty sad that some women have no problem having sex with a man that is probably (like 90%) only with you for $$$$ and benefits. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 11:15:06
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Hmmm... Charitylady goes to Gambia to help people (those poor poor african victims who cant do without her help), atleast that is her official reason.
But the real reason she goes there is to get laid.
How ironic.
Of course she accepts prostitution and paying for sex (if not cash then atleast a bag of rice or whatever), she feels needed, gets more attention as "the white spot" and even gets boned. Maybe she even feels pretty cause the man whispered lies in her ear, to get mo money from her.
She gets everything and more that she cant get at home. Of course this is charityladys paradise, and she dont want it to end because of all the benefits She gets. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 12:14:05
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The first time I went to Gambia I went on a school visit with sixth formers form Beacon Community College in Crowborough East Sussex. This is an annual trip and they put alot of effort into their fundraising for Gambia all year round. The teacher that organises the trip has to battle each year to be allowed to do it. He has to do so many risk assessments and so on and the authority would prefer it not to happen. Against all odds he somehow manages to get it going each year. They raise about £20,000 each year and take it out to the villages around Tendaba. It is spent on all sorts of projects, depending on what the community wants. I have been with this school for 3 years. I cant go this year because of my new job, but I am going in 2007.
I have sponsored children through Action Aid for the past 20 years and because of my interest in Gambia I got invited to go with this school party. It has been a privilege and a wonderful experience.My life has been turned around my it.
I had NO knowledge of sex tourism and was surprised when I saw old white people with young black people. I was completely naive to it. It wasnt my motive for going to the Gambia!!!
Now when I go to Gambia it is for a mixture of reasons. It is for a holiday: the beach, the sea, the hotel and staff friendliness, the weather, the easy flight, no jet lag and so on. It is also for 'charity' for want of a better word. I go to the village of Kolior in Kiang and I go to Kwinella and Tendaba. I also go to brufut. It is also out of sociological interest. I am interested in the culture and what makes the people 'tick'.
Then there is my 'family' and 'friends' in Gambia. Lamin Dibba in Pirang and Sidou Mass in Kolior are two good friends and their families make me welcome. I hope it has gone beyond 'charity'. I consider them part of my life forever hopefully. Also Solomon Gibba, a beach boy I am friends with is part of my life too and the staff of Palm Beach Hotel and Badala Park Hotel. I get text and emails from the Gambia on a daily basis.
Then there are my Gambian children that I consider part of my extended family: Musa (Brufut), Lamin Joof (Tendaba) Sarjo (Tendaba)
Sera (Pirang) and Fatou (Kwinella).
Babylon and Kassma I suppose what I am trying to explain is my motivation in Gambia.Whether I sleep with a Gambian Man or not is just such a SMALL part of the equation it is almost irrelevant. I would still go to Gambia twice a year (hopefully) even if I never slept with another Gambian ever again.
I do, however, find Gambian men charming, funny, happy, good company, good looking and sexy!!! (OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL OF THEM!!!)I also find it attractive that they dont drink,(or not much) as my exhusband was an alcoholic. A nice tall slim Gambian in his Friday clothes! LOVELY!
Babylon and Kassma when do you think a boy turns into a man? What age do you think is ok? What age gap is ok? I'm 46, my kids are 21 and 16. I think 30 to 60 is okish for me. 40 to 50 is ideal. DO Gambians think age difference matters? In Uk most people marry someone close to their own age. In Gambia alot of men seem to have younger wives? Is that correct?
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 13:32:02
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Gambiabev, I´m sorry that you feel that you have to defend yourself after reading my posting.
I´m not here to attack you or anyone, although you may feel that way when I have strong opinions about something that is close to my heart. We have different opinions on things but that doesn´t make us better or worse than the other. I know we´re all intelligent people who enjoy intellectual stimulation but we just dont share the same opinions all the time, and we deal with and react on issues in different ways. We are all different. You may react in a calm sensible way, and I may react in a more agressive way and some ppl really brings out the worse in me. You may think I´m a rude girl and I may temporaly think you´re sissy. But I´m not really trying to disrespect anyone. I´m not a hater.
My views on age gaps is that it usually dont work if you´re not in the same agegroup. I dont believe you can have much in common with someone who is much (10 years or so) older or younger. I was together with a brittish jamaican man once who was 12 years older than me and I hated his "old man hobbies" and musictaste, didn´t work for me.  Also if you are economically more powerful than your man it´s not going to work. I think both should be on a similar level inorder to be happy with eachother.
Having sex without a relationship, playing the field is not my cup of tea.
I also don´t believe in individual charity or western women/men who think they can solve africas problems only by their pure existens. I do believe they often go and "help" because of their own selfintereset. Allow me to be very sceptic. |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 19:53:30
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babylon, why so harsh, you make comments about "Charity Lady", but what about greed by Gambians, who steals from charity lady. Some of Gambia problems could be solved without Charity lady if the government got better organised.
I am sorry you don't like "charitylady" but i shall ignore your comments and carry on.
It is right that those who have should help the have nots. but some of the Gambians with the Have do not help the Have nots.
Some of the posting about the people going hungary is true, but if i help them what does that make me.
What is your answer to Gambians problems, if "Charity Lady" stopped going people would still go hungary
how sad.
Your posting upset me, because i did not expect it from you.
How are you helping the Gambians you have met who geniuely need help.
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 23 Sep 2006 : 22:31:38
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Jambo, I understand you´re upset because you are one of those who do charity, and you believe it´s the right thing to do. That´s fine.
But I am against that type of system, where individual westerners have to in and help a few people and leave others without help. That is unfair. It is not really your responsability to help singled out people in poor countries, nomatter how sorry you feel for them. You being there will not solve any problems in a long term but it will solve a problem only temporarily.
The responsability is with the government of the country. They must create a system that will benefit all the citizens. If you want to change a situation in a country you must go through the politicians, and put pressure on them. That is the only way to get to the problem, according to me.
I don´t believe in the charitylady.
What happens to the few people if the charitylady suddenly decides not to help anymore? It is all up to her, she decides everything and that is not good.
It has to be more organized and much more professional than that. |
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kassma
334 Posts |
Posted - 24 Sep 2006 : 02:40:53
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quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
Hmmm... Charitylady goes to Gambia to help people (those poor poor african victims who cant do without her help), atleast that is her official reason.
But the real reason she goes there is to get laid.
How ironic.
Of course she accepts prostitution and paying for sex (if not cash then atleast a bag of rice or whatever), she feels needed, gets more attention as "the white spot" and even gets boned. Maybe she even feels pretty cause the man whispered lies in her ear, to get mo money from her.
She gets everything and more that she cant get at home. Of course this is charityladys paradise, and she dont want it to end because of all the benefits She gets.
babylon, are you retarded? although i might not agree with Gambev, there is no excuse to insult her like this. what is wrong with you, did your mother neglect you, if not what happened to you, something has to explain you being you. ever since i got on this forum, you have never failed to show your ignorant side, do you have another side? the tragedy of all this is you're an idi0t and sadly the mother of children who have to look up to your immature azz for guidance. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 24 Sep 2006 : 10:31:25
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Kassma, this time you´ve gone too far. It´s ok if you call me an retarded *****, you have the right to your opinion.
But to disrespect my mother and to also disrespect me as a mother (which also is to attack my children) is not Ok.
I have never mentioned Gambiabev in my Charitylady story, and it was written in an ironic sense.
That´s it. I´ve had enough of this forum.
Goodluck everyone! |
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