| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 14:31:27
|
However, who will not blow his/her own trumpet.
Who will narrate the reality of these youngmen?
I will send Dr. Phil an e-mail and ask for help.
A writer once said: “When the European society was finished with me, that I am at the end of the road and threw me in a dustbin and locked me in. A young African man found me and made me a queen”.
A two bladed knife, cuts with both sides.
If you don´t trust don´t expect to be trusted.
|
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
 |
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 15:15:52
|
quote:
Originally posted by twinkly
Serenata the reason why people don't reply is because you(all) are very rude.Just look at Gambiabevs words, that's what you are all saying in one way or another.
Very rude!
Learn about the Gambian way of life and the answers are clear and obvious.
But you just want to keep critisising instead of opening your hearts and understanding the reality.
Let me answer in a language that you would understand:
We are simply not serious enough, not respectful enough and not consious enough.
I can guarantee you if a woman gives a man want he needs he will keep her.
Maybe we are very stupid, but most of all ignorant.We have a brain, can absorb thoughts and learn, but we are so very ignorant.
Your words are so very insulting, I admire the patients and calmness of some people
Twinkly, where on earth did you get the picture of the african woman as docile and submissive and why do you stick to that view, which by the way is the typical western, insulting and racist view of african women?
|
|
|
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 15:37:27
|
By the way I forgot to say that it is a Swedish writer that said;
“When the European society was finished with me, that I am at the end of the road and threw me in a dustbin and locked me in. A young African man found me and made me a queen”. |
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
|
|
|
twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 15:45:57
|
Is it an insult if I say African women in general are more serious, respectful and concious when it comes to being a wife?
Maybe to you......
Read properly and don't look for something that is not there please.
It is simply easier to have a Gambian wife because she already knows the lifestyle, and expectations of a marriage(on both sides!)
No way is a Gambian woman submissive she simply knows her role as a woman and a wife.
It is such a complex issue and the ears that ask don't want to hear the truth, so how will we ever come to a conclusion?
|
|
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 16:00:53
|
Ahaaa, so can you please tell us white knockleheads exactly what the role of a Gambian woman and wife is?
Please teach us! |
|
|
|
Karamba
United Kingdom
3820 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 16:28:35
|
Here too in UK we have experiences where the young men get hooked. Some of them end up working while the woman stays home claiming benefits. The young man pays rent and bills for his white woman. Some of them end up divorcing. You can see the other side of the story that is never been told. In the beginning the young thinks of relying on his white woman as husband and wife. Later, the wife becomes liability on the young in the host country. That is good reason to prompt divorce when they can no longer bear each other. There are even worse conditions. Young men falling into such situations don't usually go to school. They find situations frustrating and unbearable. |
Karamba |
|
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 16:49:37
|
quote:
Originally posted by Janko
By the way I forgot to say that it is a Swedish writer that said;
“When the European society was finished with me, that I am at the end of the road and threw me in a dustbin and locked me in. A young African man found me and made me a queen”.
What are you trying to say? That only white trash women who nolonger fits in the european society are with black men?
Instead of saying it´s a swedish writer who wrote it why not say Who wrote it instead to make things clearer and we dont have to guess what your trying to say? Was it Kerstin Ekman? Henning Mankell? |
|
|
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 16:56:07
|
Karamaba,
It is a don´t throw stones situation.
Thank you for coming to the aid of those who are not here to present their version of THE REALITY.
When one reads some of the posts on this topic one is given the impression that the white woman is a scrupulous angle that has no other interest in the relationship than to salvage the young black bock.
You don´t stand up in Trafalgar squire and say; “all Englishmen are egocentric then when Mr. Brown shows up, you say; NOT YOU!
If you don’t want Mr. Rat to eat up Mr. Dry Fish, tell him to control his odour
|
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
|
|
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 17:47:22
|
quote:
Originally posted by Janko
By the way I forgot to say that it is a Swedish writer that said;
“When the European society was finished with me, that I am at the end of the road and threw me in a dustbin and locked me in. A young African man found me and made me a queen”.
The author is Kerstin Thorvall, I don´t remember the title, follow the link, she is a columnist for the tabloid newspaper “AftonBladet”.
|
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
|
|
|
Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 17:58:35
|
I know Kerstin Thorvall, she is the one who wrote about her sexual experinces with african men when she was 60 - 70 years something like that.
 |
|
|
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 18:12:03
|
quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
I know Kerstin Thorvall, she is the one who wrote about her sexual experinces with african men when she was 60 - 70 years something like that.
The books title is Svart Resa Black Journey 1987
|
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 18:49:38
|
Janko, can I just say Western society has not finished with me!
I have had english boyfriends, I have a good job, I have a nice home, I have two lovely daughters and parents and friends that care about me. Plus a dog and a cat. In other words a full and active life!
I went to Gambia and THOUGHT I fell in love and was fallen in love with. BUT now i am not so naive, I am more aware of the economic picture. So now I am not convinced he was genuine. I didn't go to Gambia looking for love. It never crossed my mind in the preparations, I was excited about going to the villages and being with the students.
I think a young Gambian man saw I was unhappy in my marriage, saw I was vunerable, saw I had a nice character and took advantage of that.
At the time I met him, the first night of my first time in Gambia, I had never met a bumster and was completely unaware of sexual tourism. I was innocent.
Now I have learnt from experience and I have seen the pattern repeated many times. I am only commenting on what I have seen and heard.
It is because of this that I am not prepared to take the risk on this man. It is sad, because he might be genuine, but I have heard enough to make me think otherwise. |
|
|
|
gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 19:14:23
|
Twinkly, you might like being passive........but the world has moved on for the better. Women are educated and are in control of their own bodies and their own lives.
Gambia has a LONG way to go down the feminist road.  I am sure young girls being educated now wont be so passive around men and that is A GOOD THING! WOmen should have all the same choices and opportunities as men.
You say Gambian women are more respectful........ perhaps they have to be because they are reliant on a man for a roof over their heads. In Uk we used to vow to OBEY our husbands. That has now been removed from the marriage service.
Gambian men should indeed marry a Gambian women if they want a traditional wife and someone to fill that role in the family compound. In my experience white women are considered a trophy because they are educated and have economic independence. I dont want or need anything from any man apart from good companionship, friendship and sex. I can provide everything else for myself. Gambian men often feel under pressure financially for the cultural expectations of new year, naming ceremonies, marriages etc.... I dont need a man to feed me, infact I can perhaps help him feed his family and provide for them in other ways. It takes the burden from one person and shares in.
In Gambia the men seem to see me as an honary man. I join in discussions about politics and religion etc, I sit with the men. I once sat at a coffee bar in Kotu at the side of the road. Apparently only men and prostitutes do that! Or so my boyfriend said. He wasnt happy that I sat and chatted openly with other men. That was his problem!!! 
I fit in better with the men than the women, generally. The have more education, speak better english and are more welcoming to me. The women in general live a very domestic life and are kept out of what I would consider the real world.
I have met an exception or two. One had worked in an office before having children. One is a midwife. They were both strong women with feminist ideas. Neither marriage had survived. |
|
|
|
serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 19:20:27
|
Twinkly, where did you find anything rude. I just don't have double standards for blacks and whites, i.e. I don't like cheating, may the cheater be black or white.
Janko, you are right, I also know such cases. I know about really TERRIBLE white women; mean, vulgar s.... who enjoy the fact that in Europe they have power over their African husbands. And it is more than understandable when Africans divorce from this type of European woman as soon as possible.
The reason why things like these can happen is the inhumane EU immigration politics. But even if politics are unfair, the people could stay fair to each other.
|
|
|
|
Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 20:09:13
|
Serenata, your insightfullness.......................really
Gambiabev
Am simply trying to establish the Mantra; there are two sides to a story.
There is no mention of sympathy for these youngsters´ life dilemma, and I have witnessed how some of them end up in prison, sent home for life or in metal hospitals.
The sad thing is the very, very hard life they find themselves in, with or without these women. Not just because of a shattered dream but also the culture chock, language problem, the problem of fitting in the new society and so fort.
My heart bleeds for them.
The old Greeks say; boldness is a sign of weakness (Achilles' heel).
Be mindful of using your position as a yardstick to measure the quality of a modern woman because your stance is not absolute.
The Gambian culture receives and honours visitors (gender neutral) as equals that’s why you are accepted everywhere not that you are better than anybody.
|
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
