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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
 Posted - 23 Aug 2007 : 13:52:36
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I have seen more and more african men divorce their white wife and remarry an african woman and bring her to Europe.
Are you happier now and is your marriage happier?
What makes it better than your former, interracial marriage? Just asking out of curiousity...
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2007 : 14:23:47
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| babylon ,good questions that .i never marry to any european but if i did i would have done it in good faith and for love ,i would be happy then and if the marraige end up in devorce i would be sad and depress . love is about closeness and familiarity ,simpaty and care ,so if it end up devorce ,you most feel sad .people do move on and start new relationship but whenever they came in contact with their ex ,they feel some thing that is why many men feel jealous of their partners having requent contact with their ex's . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2007 : 14:27:42
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| Is this your experience, personally,through a friend or family or a mere contemplation of a discerning near feature? Just wondering |
Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
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turk
USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 11:19:12
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Dynamics of relationship are very complex.
Are the success or failure rate of relationships of
muslim vs. christian
educated vs. ignorant
rich vs. poor
wolof vs. fula
black gambian vs. black eritrian
funny vs. angry
free spirit vs. not
talkative vs. quiet
aristocrat vs. proletarian
secular vs. religious
socialist vs. liberal
humanist vs. materialist
vegetarian vs. meat eater
any different from black vs. white?
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diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
Edited by - turk on 24 Aug 2007 11:21:52 |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 15:00:59
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Janko, I am also watching this trend; I mentioned it some time ago here in the Bantaba.
I don't mean to offend anyone, but it seems significant to me that Babylon brought up the topic yesterday, and except of you two Gambians (Janko and Santanfara; turk, I suppose you are Turkish) everybody keeps quiet. Why?
I heard about (mostly fake) marriages among Ghanaians; a Ghanaian man or woman with an EU passport or residence permit can make a lot of money if he/she marries someone and takes her/him to Europe.
The Gambian/Gambian marriages I know about seem to be real marriages. Just like Babylon says: First the husband married a European woman, divorced from her after three, four years, when his residence status is secure, then marries a young Gambian wife and has children with her... |
Edited by - serenata on 24 Aug 2007 15:03:05 |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 16:13:56
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Turk, in answer to your question, everything there is the opposite, and that can cause a breakdown in understanding your partners.
regarding africans marrying europeans for the Residence status, it is a fact that some do this. they are the minority, but there is a good trade in africans who have european status marrying african for money. |
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Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 17:03:01
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The complexity of this issue is we are mixing marry for money, for papers and for love with African men divorcing their white wives. Which is which?
I have seen white women divorce their African men, African women divorce their white/African men or white men divorce their African/white women and so fort.
Let us be mindful of not defining all African men similarly.
Why is the African man divorcing his white woman more important that the other way round or for that matter any divorce?
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Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
Edited by - Janko on 24 Aug 2007 17:04:21 |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2007 : 22:05:04
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"Why is the African man divorcing his white woman more important that the other way round or for that matter any divorce?"
No, it´s not more important. Just an interesting question since it happens so often.
Let´s say about 80% of the Gambian men (the friends of my ex husband who also is remarried to a gambian woman) who I know and were married to white women 10 - 15 years ago are now married to black women.
Some had children in africa while married to the white woman, with the african woman they have now have brought here.
This happens a lot.
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turk
USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 00:34:53
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When a gambian get married with another gambian who live in europe, the motivation is not any less than a gambian getting married with a white? The point is the failure or success of relationship is so much complex, one may not be able to have any formula. Because there are several dynamics will impact on the relationship.
Anyway maybe the answer
"once you go black, you never go back", "once you go white, you never get right" :) |
diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 08:56:41
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I think why this question is important is the INTENT from the START.
Babylon seems to be saying that alot of Gambian men marry a white person to get to europe as part of THEIR LIFE PLAN. Their intent is NEVER to stay with her forever. They might care for her (or not) might love her (or not). But the game plan is ALWAYS to have a Gambian wife eventually and have children with her. Either in europe or back in Gambia.
The difference between this marriage and other marriages that fail is that MOST other marriages START with the premise of TRYING to be FOREVER. Even if they fail later, that was the intent.
The difficulty for white women is how do you decide who are genuine guys and who are 'players'? I decided to play safe and not take the risk, epecially as it would have involved loosing my parents respect. A little bit of me will always wonder was it genuine, but deep down I don't think so.
I want to thank everyone on Bantaba for their various views and especially for the private emails that helped me make up my mind.
THANKS. |
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Babylon
Sweden
691 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 10:14:36
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quote:
Originally posted by turk
Anyway maybe the answer
"once you go black, you never go back", "once you go white, you never get right" :)
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 11:03:14
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quote:
Originally posted by Babylon
quote:
Originally posted by turk
Anyway maybe the answer
"once you go black, you never go back", "once you go white, you never get right" :)
sister turk ,what do you mean by the above quote ? |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
Edited by - Santanfara on 25 Aug 2007 11:04:25 |
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Janko
Gambia
1267 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 13:04:26
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Gambiabev
“THEIR LIFE PLAN” (Omnipotent) it most feel good being on that HORSE.
Let me not bore you with the average age difference between these whites that marry young Gambians. Or, the fact that such relationships are a two bladed knife, cutting with both sides. I personally know couples happily married for more than 10 years and are still married, supposedly is due to the fact that they in the same age group.
I have witnessed young Gambians in mental hospitals with severe depression, some brought in by the police for attempted suicide, coursed by been thrown out by (the) white woman and forced to leave two to three children unwillingly behind. Sometimes never to see them again...that is “THEIR LIFE PLAN”.
Your perspective is an after the fact construction and not a before the fact evaluation of the given context, in other words a preconceived point of view. You did not only reformulate the question from general (Africans) to specific (Gambians) but you also explicitly point Gambians out as having that tendency (be aware sisters)
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Clean your house before pointing a finger ... Never be moved by delirious Well-wishers in their ecstasy |
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twinkly
United Kingdom
190 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 13:21:49
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Serenata the reason why people don't reply is because you(all) are very rude.Just look at Gambiabevs words, that's what you are all saying in one way or another.
Very rude!
Learn about the Gambian way of life and the answers are clear and obvious.
But you just want to keep critisising instead of opening your hearts and understanding the reality.
Let me answer in a language that you would understand:
We are simply not serious enough, not respectful enough and not consious enough.
I can guarantee you if a woman gives a man want he needs he will keep her.
Maybe we are very stupid, but most of all ignorant.We have a brain, can absorb thoughts and learn, but we are so very ignorant.
Your words are so very insulting, I admire the patients and calmness of some people
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 13:42:29
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I am sorry if you find what I say rude. But it is the reality of alot of situations. Several people have privately emailed me to say the same, though they wont say it on Bantaba. 
I suppose if you put the question the other way around it is 'Can you really believe that a poor, young, Gambian man really LOVES a middle aged White European women and that when they marry it is for LOVE and not money or a visa?'
There may be occasional true love matches, but most are on the make.
EVEN my Gambian friends have warned me of this and warn me not to trust a Gambian mans motives. They advise me to have an English boyfriend.
I LIKE Gambian men very much. I find them entertaining company and generally quite intelligent and philosphical. But TRUST?.........that's a whole other thing. 
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turk
USA
3356 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2007 : 14:31:03
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sister santafara
Oh these are some popular craps from american jingos.
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diaspora! Too many Chiefs and Very Few Indians.
Halifa Salah: PDOIS is however realistic. It is fully aware that the Gambian voters are yet to reach a level of political consciousness that they rely on to vote on the basis of Principles, policies and programmes and practices. |
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