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Karl
136 Posts |
 Posted - 01 Jul 2007 : 09:06:30
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COPIED BELOW IS A THREE MINUTES MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR ALL BANTABA FOLKS. PLEASE TAKE NOTE OF THE MORAL POINTS AT THE END OF EACH LESSON: IT'S FUN PLUS GOOD LAUGH, HOPE YOU ENJOY IT !!!
Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that
towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800
and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob
the next door neighbour," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "did
he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a
position to prevent avoidable exposure
Lesson 2
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity
Lesson 3
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of
you just one wish."
Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff!
She's gone.
Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you
and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull..
They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the
top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story: BullSh!t might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird d singing and came to investigate*
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the 3-minute management course
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"People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster" J Baldwin |
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toubab1020
12312 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2007 : 14:04:18
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Yes Karl I liked that,it's a shame that many people in positions of power fail to take advantage of this course!!!
Lesson 6 in particular!!! |
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Dalton1
3485 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2007 : 14:35:31
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Thanks Karl for sharing. Just like Toubab, i like the scenarious.It’s a loose Sunday so I decided to rejoin one. I will compose more as time permits, and enjoy this scenario of a science teacher and his tenth grade students. 
Scenario: It was said that the physics teacher was teaching 10 graders in the science lap and said to his students “Sir Isaac Newton was lying under the apple tree and when an apple fell on him, he discovered gravity.”
One student goes “If he was opening and reading books like us, I bet he won’t have discovered it.”
Another goes “That’s right. Why can’t we try something similar?”
The third one goes “He must have had it by coincidence.”
The fourth one goes “He dreamt about it.”
The fifth one goes “He must have enjoyed that apple, to the extent made a theory.”
The sixth go “How juicy is that apple? I will love to have some of it.”
The seventh goes “Did the apple knock on him? O sorry Sir Isaac.”
The eighth goes “He shook the apple branch to drop the apple fruit.”
The ninth goes “Whose apple tree was it? Cuz if it is not his’, then what a thief?”
The eleventh goes “You are right, the guy is a criminal after cleverly stealing an apple.”
Then all the sitting students in front of the class all forwarded their opinions on this apple story with Sir Isaac Newton. On the whole teacher was loaded with anger to brim, and he goes “ If there is any ***** in this class stand up?”
All the students kept sitting quiet, staring at the teacher and at each other.
All of a sudden one student rose from his seat and humbly joined the teacher in front of the class.
Teacher goes “Tell me, why you are an ***** among all this whole class?”
The student goes “I hate to see you standing there alone.”
Morals: These students were all clever by putting things in their own imaginations with full participation. But the later student was cleverest to sympathize with a lonely teacher standing alone, thinking Sir Isaac was his brother or in-law.
Note: I love these ten graders.
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"There is no god but Allah (SWT); and Muhammad (SAW)is His last messenger." shahadah. Fear & Worship Allah (SWT) Alone! (:
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