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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
 Posted - 07 May 2007 : 07:18:21
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i would like the bantaba members to say some thing on this topic .why is it that when one proposes to a gambian woman back in the gambia many other men vent their interest at just that same time ?
i mean this question as being bothering me for ages.
when ever one want to marry a gambian lady that is the time men will start queuing up saying all sorts of things . this lady then gets comfuse and may end up marrying the wrong guy.is this culture or what ? i seen it happen all over the place in the gambia. from basse to the kombos. let my foni brothers say some thing about this.
i remember precisely my own situation. i propose to my wife in september and our two families made contact ,then bang differnt lamin's ,musa's,ansu's,mbyes etc start indicating there interst. i was godsmack. what is this ? did this happen to any gambian lady arround here ? is this just standard practice in the gambia so i shouldn't be worried about it .
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Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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serenata
Germany
1400 Posts |
Posted - 07 May 2007 : 18:05:12
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| Santa, this phenomenon is not exclusively Gambian, though there may be special cultural forms. The moment you show that you are interested in a certain person, it is like a signal for others that the woman/man must be interesting. Many people don't trust their own judgement; they need others to 'lead'. Second, it seems to be nothing but simple envy. You may judge if envy is frequent and important in the Gambian society. |
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gambiabev
United Kingdom
3091 Posts |
Posted - 07 May 2007 : 18:24:02
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I have heard that some Gambian men are jealous of anothers good fortune and they try to spoil a relationship by spreading untrue tales. But then I suppose that isn't just true of Gambians? |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 07 May 2007 : 20:53:30
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quote:
Originally posted by serenata
Santa, this phenomenon is not exclusively Gambian, though there may be special cultural forms. The moment you show that you are interested in a certain person, it is like a signal for others that the woman/man must be interesting. Many people don't trust their own judgement; they need others to 'lead'. Second, it seems to be nothing but simple envy. You may judge if envy is frequent and important in the Gambian society.
yeh quiet true sere , i asked my wife whether she knew those men and she said most of them no but some never express any interest untill i affirm my interest. it may be a bit global but for gambia it is very evident .they comes in two's three's and so on. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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jambo
3300 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2007 : 13:05:23
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| gambiabev , some truth in this jealously is not a pleasant trait |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 05 Jul 2007 : 10:55:26
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it was a breezy night in Touba where a man was preparing to welcome his second wife .the first wife was as the man stated very difficult to deal with.she was always complaining ,causing unncessary troubles and creating disharmony in the small village of about 200 people.
well , Maanta was well informed about moudow's decision to take a second wife but she brush off the idea .Maanta the first wife was a women of high calibre ,she was a no nonsence lady ,tall and a bit flanbouyant ,she commands respect.she might be a little intimidting to the slim ,less muscular Maudou the husband. but Maudou is a small sole trader in the village ,he is highly respected and trusted.
Maudou is in most evenings heard shouting his lungs off because Maanata wouldn't want to have nice time when Maudou comes knocking .this is a very unfortable situation for Maudou. he decides to take on Tida as a second wife. Tida is young lady from the oppossite village .she was ever keen to become Maudou's second wife.
a small family meeting was convine ,the family Kabilo ( group of all extended family ) were duely informed about the date Maudou's second wife would arrive .Maanta was in the gathering ,she pretended to happy and part of the whole process ,it is tradition after all so why show disgust ? the big night arrive. this day the husband is in a happy state,he is always smiling and cracking light jokes. but Maanta was boiling inside ,ploting what actions to take to end it all now.
well , she waited ,and waited untill the new bride arrived .then a local dance routine was commence .this is usually using a calabash in a big bucket of water .then two sticks are use to beat the calabash in the water ,it makes a strange sound of dukudun dukudun and so on .so women and some men will dance to this local tune which has been arround for God knows when .
women take it in turn to dance a certain style ,this involve going round in small circles and then jump up for the wirling dance and then stanp there feet of the ground to signal a completion of the routine ,then another lady will join in. this goes on untill the first wifes turns arrive ,she most dance as well to signal bearing no hardfeeling .but this time Maanta was over taken by emotion ,she dance and dance and dance untill people desparce she was dancing ,even after the dukudun sound hard stop she was dancing .
at first the villagers though she most be very happy but she wasn't ,she was in shock .
What happen to Maanta wasn't typical of many women who undergo having a second rival .Maanta never expected her husband would in a million years have a second wife ,she was always in charge ,pulling the shots etc. for her the whole thing wasn't happening but it was ,so the occassion sent her to lala land .
then the elderly women realise this isn't right ,Maanta wasn't dancing wilfully ,some thing is wrong .she was stopped and taken in her house for calmness .she fainted .
but when she woke up .things fall apart .the moneymoon became talomoon (a bitter local fruit) .to be continued .
note ,please this is light hearted true story so lets not engage in polygamy saga . |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jul 2007 : 17:25:47
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contiuation from last time.
Maanta woke up to find happy and merry making visitors all over the place. every thing have sunk in by then .she demand a devorce from maudou .people where shock at that request .the husband knew Maanta was in shock at the whole wedding ceremony ,he told her to calm dowm but Maanta wouldn't have it .she was serious .She summond the elders to a meeting ,and curious visitors and villagers were ears droping .Maanta was speaking at the top of her voice ,she was saying ''i demand maudou to give me my neck ( devorce term )in mandinka (nkanwou) .women who wish to be devorce can request it by telling the husband nkanwou dinna ..(release me to go) .the man may use his pasuading skills to sweet talk or if he is arrogant ,he will immeadiately say to the wife ,i devorce you and then a letter will be written to confirm his devorce ,later elders can negotiate to reconcile them ,but the couples have the final say.
the elders did just that ,but Maanta was determine to leave .maudou decline to let her go .she then resort to a much more dangerous adventure. Maanta attack maudou physically ,Maudou rassle her to the ground ,people were shouting and screaming ,some saying ''we have never seen this ,how can she do this ,she is dying of jealosy ,why this ,may be she is mad ''.all sorts of comments.
Maanta did the undone. she got hold of Maudou's private part .she held it firm .sorry for that bit .she drag him ,people could not help because the more the crowd advance the more Maanta crip the husband's private parts more. he collapse .
MAanta release him , he lay like a dead person .the whole place went silent .
suddenly the brothers of Maudou attacked Maanta ,the crowd intervine .Maudou was taken inside his house . he is still not moving .they pour water over him ,fan him ,still no movement.
then ,they say he is dead ,some said he is not .the wise idea was to take him to yorobawol hospital which 10 kilometers away on a horse cart .Maudou was taken to hospital but on way to yerobawol ,maudou gain conciousness .he asked the horse cart rider what happen and where are we going ? ,the man reply hospital ,and maudou said who is sick ?the man said you nearly died ,and he said why ? the man reply your wife Maanta squeeze your private parts ,he jump .the horse cart rider stop .Maudou said back home .they return home .Maudou quietly headed straight to his uncles house and told him i devorce Maanta.
Maanta was pick up by her brother ,she left Touba .
Manata couldn't get any man to have her as a wife after that incident ,she later relocate to some where new ,where her past is not known. coclusion.
watch ou guys. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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sab
United Kingdom
912 Posts |
Posted - 07 Jul 2007 : 20:25:32
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Better he was married to Maanta than Lorena Bobbitt....u had better Google her, and be brave! she is also still out there fellows!
So your right Santanfara, there is a time to be hot and a time to be cool!
sab.
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The world would be a poorer place if it was peopled by children whose parents risked nothing in the cause of social justice, for fear of personal loss. (Joe Slovo - African revolutionary) |
Edited by - sab on 07 Jul 2007 20:38:14 |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 07 Jul 2007 : 22:16:15
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quote:
Originally posted by sab
Better he was married to Maanta than Lorena Bobbitt....u had better Google her, and be brave! she is also still out there fellows!
So your right Santanfara, there is a time to be hot and a time to be cool!
sab.
no comment sab  |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 13:03:48
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Its not news but lying in our culture.
In ancient time men's show their good willing by Spears or Capitals power.
I dont think its much difference with now days( )
I personal didnt and i will also not involve myself in such slipping mind because nowadays you can asks the woman who she will be with even though we have some families where the parent still decided whom their wants daughter to be with.
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toubab1020
12311 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 13:20:15
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| Do you think that a Gambian woman has different ideas about love than a woman who comes from europe or asia or china? Is this Culture or a search for someone who can take care of her,does this feeling apply to women everywhere?Ladies I would like to know please post.! |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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Edited by - toubab1020 on 09 Jul 2007 14:27:57 |
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 14:31:18
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If am well informed, china is belongs to Asia.
by the way love comes as the same in very corner of this planet, it its matter how one take it, I leave the rest of the answer to those you asked .
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mbay
Germany
1007 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 14:52:29
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quote:
Originally posted by Santanfara[i]
[i]Maanta did the undone. she got hold of Maudou's private part .she held it firm .sorry for that bit .she drag him ,people could not help because the more the crowd advance the more Maanta crip the husband's private parts more. he collapse .
Like Fula says goes (to put her feet between your leg and pull the milk out is goat but when it comes to a cow you better leave it on spot! |
Edited by - mbay on 09 Jul 2007 14:53:07 |
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Santanfara
3460 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 17:49:23
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| mbay , if you think that is painful what about a similar incidennce in a village call Misirah close to diyabuku .a man fall in love with his wive so much that he became bewiched by her. this are days gone. after every quarell the wive will dump him on the floor and seat on him beating him and the worst part is the wive will be screaming to mislead people outside. .this goes on for a long time untill one day people decide to stop him harrassing the wive. to the shock of the people in their home it was the wive beating the **** out of her husband. then the people there demand the man to get up and fight with the wive in the open. a comba commence. comba is when two people fight like in the boxing ring. the two of them, husband and wive lockhorn but all the time the lady dump him on the floor. untill the brother of the husband took a big stick threating the elder brother. what they fail to understand is that the man couldn't inflict any sort of pain on his belove wive but the wive can kick his backside. after the threat he borrowed courage and he too dump the wive on the floor. messy .some time it is the ladies ontop. |
Surah- Ar-Rum 30-22
"And among His signs is the creation of heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge." Qu'ran
www.suntoumana.blogspot.com |
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toubab1020
12311 Posts |
Posted - 09 Jul 2007 : 19:04:29
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quote:
Originally posted by mbay
If am well informed, china is belongs to Asia.
by the way love comes as the same in very corner of this planet, it its matter how one take it, I leave the rest of the answer to those you asked .
I don't think the people of China would like to be called Asians,you better not, there are too many of them. |
"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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