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fee_sweetie



United Kingdom
127 Posts

Posted - 28 May 2007 :  17:45:26  Show Profile Send fee_sweetie a Private Message
Hi if anyone has any advice then it would be greatly appreciated....

Where and who would u speak to, to file for a divorce. Marriage was at banjul to a gambian. Marriage not registered in the UK.

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you'd have good people doing good things + evil people doing evil things but for good people to do evil things it takes religion"- Richard Dawkins

kayjatta



2977 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  09:46:17  Show Profile Send kayjatta a Private Message
Talk to an attorney. However , my guess is that Gambian courts will have jurisdiction since the marriage was contracted in the Gambia. Now , U.K. may also have jurisdiction since both of you reside there as spouses.
But I am tempted to ask these questions:
1. do you and your spouse have properties( personal or real) in U.K.in your names as spouses?
2.do you have joint bank accounts ?
3.do you have kids together?
4.how long since you are married to each other?
Your answer to this will determine what advice one can give you. The simplest form of divorce you may have will be a "no fault" divorce if that applies in U.K.

This is not a legal advice . Consult a Gambian attorney or an attorney in U.K.
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jambo



3300 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  13:31:19  Show Profile Send jambo a Private Message
follow the paper trail, what ever you sign to be married you have to unsign/countersign/cancel with another piece of paper. as kayjatta states bank accounts/mortgages. take plenty of photocopies of all paper work. is there a precedence, or a religious ceremony that you can look back at.
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kondorong



Gambia
4380 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  19:07:10  Show Profile Send kondorong a Private Message
Marriage contracted in Gambia and registered with the Cadi's Court is enforceable in the UK. Its sad you talk of a divorce. But sometimes that is the only option when everything fails.
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Sister Omega



United Kingdom
2085 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  19:21:06  Show Profile  Visit Sister Omega's Homepage Send Sister Omega a Private Message
It's quite straightforward once you are divorced in the UK the marriage is automatically dissolved. You don't need to go to Gambia to get divorced there. You can get free advice from the Citizen Advice Bureau about any queries you may have. Before going to seek out a lawyer.

Peace

Sister Omega

Peace
Sister Omega
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fee_sweetie



United Kingdom
127 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  20:25:05  Show Profile Send fee_sweetie a Private Message
Thanks everyone for your advice. I too am very sad that i have to be talking about divorce, especially when there is a very special wee boy involved. but I have learned very good lessons and will become a stronger person from this.

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you'd have good people doing good things + evil people doing evil things but for good people to do evil things it takes religion"- Richard Dawkins
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  22:02:49  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
Are you english or Gambia? I am interested in your story. The more detail you are prepared to give the more focused the advice you will get.

In UK if you want a divorce you need to get a solicitor who specialises in representing women in divorce cases.

You need to decide what you will settle for and what you are prepared to fight over BEFORE you see a solicitor. They see their job as getting you as much money as they can. But they could destroy any relationship you have with the father of your child. You have to decide what is worth a fight and stay true to your convictions.

My solicitor said she could get me a 70:30 settlement. I knew that would be at great personal expense.

I settled for 50:50 even though I support my daughter who lives with me. I am poorer for that decision, but still friendly with my daughters father, that I was married to for over 20 years, to me that is worth it. I still see my ex mother in law every month. I am divorced but they are still part of my daughters lives and I try hard to be civil and friendly. They were part of my life for many years after all.

If you have ANY doubts about divorce and you have children I would advise to keep trying to make it work.
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kondorong



Gambia
4380 Posts

Posted - 29 May 2007 :  22:14:05  Show Profile Send kondorong a Private Message
quote:
Originally posted by fee_sweetie

Thanks everyone for your advice. I too am very sad that i have to be talking about divorce, especially when there is a very special wee boy involved. but I have learned very good lessons and will become a stronger person from this.



This link by Baa Maal about a darling might be some soothing for the soul in difficult times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csBbIwK09Rk&mode=related&search=
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kayjatta



2977 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  07:35:29  Show Profile Send kayjatta a Private Message
There are different types of divorces , from the simplest ones to the most complex ones. I have previously mentioned "no fault divorces" where you can terminate a marriage for any reason and for no reason.No one has to be at fault. This makes ending a marital relationship very easy (NOTHING MORE THAN SIGNING PAPERS), but there are conditions to this for example if there are NO CHILDREN , NO MARITAL ASSETS to divide , and the duration of the marriage is not MORE THAN FIVE YEARS.This is basically U.S. law , please check the current law in U.K.
However, if there are children , assets to divide and especially if you and your husband (spouses) are arguing over issues like child custody , child support , visitaion ,spousal support, distribution of assets , etc,etc divorce can be a painful and protracted "warfare".
I still recommend you consult an attorney in order to properly weigh your options.
Thank you.
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  09:23:33  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
In Uk most solicitors will give one free consultation before you engage them on your behalf to do a divorce case. The quickest divorce is 'unreasonable behaviour'. It can be done in 3 months if there is nothing to fight over.
Remember everything you fight over gives the solicitor more work and more income. Keep it simple if possible.
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fee_sweetie



United Kingdom
127 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  09:39:00  Show Profile Send fee_sweetie a Private Message
thanks for all ure concerns.......
Im dutch national but have been living in the UK for over 15 years. We were together for 2 years and got married march 2007, so not married long. Luckly we dont have any assets, bank account etc together, so there is nothing to fight for. He is also not on my sons birth certificate.
Sadly he is not interested in our son and has done nothing for him and has only seen him for a total of 3 weeks.( he is only 9 months old)
It has come to my attention that his plan all along was to leave us as soon as he arrived here......
Luckly my son is too young to be affected by this and has a mummy and oma that love him and will support and take care of him for the rest of his life.

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you'd have good people doing good things + evil people doing evil things but for good people to do evil things it takes religion"- Richard Dawkins
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toubab1020



9917 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  09:49:30  Show Profile Send toubab1020 a Private Message
Your son is a lucky boy to have such a mum as you, its a pity that your life has been affected by such a man as you have married."
quote:
Originally posted by fee_sweetie

thanks for all ure concerns.......
Im dutch national but have been living in the UK for over 15 years. We were together for 2 years and got married march 2007, so not married long. Luckly we dont have any assets, bank account etc together, so there is nothing to fight for. He is also not on my sons birth certificate.
Sadly he is not interested in our son and has done nothing for him and has only seen him for a total of 3 weeks.( he is only 9 months old)
It has come to my attention that his plan all along was to leave us as soon as he arrived here......
Luckly my son is too young to be affected by this and has a mummy and oma that love him and will support and take care of him for the rest of his life.


"Simple is good" & I strongly dislike politics. You cannot defend the indefensible.
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gambiabev

United Kingdom
3091 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  10:14:09  Show Profile Send gambiabev a Private Message
How sad to be deceived in this way. Your son is very lucky to have you and his grandma. Good luck with your future. You are taking the first steps. Be strong. No man in your life is better than the wrong man in your life.
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kayjatta



2977 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  10:37:43  Show Profile Send kayjatta a Private Message
You mean this man is the biological father of your son , but his name is not on his (the child's)birth certificate? Why ? Is that not gonna create you a problem later ? What if this guy some day turn around and claim his parentage , afterall he can proof it by DNA , can't he ? Also many children do like to know their bio-parents when they grow up and they often dislike the parent who like to hide or keep them away from the other parent.
If a custody battle arise it could be really nasty, because it gives the lawyers a chance to dig into your private life-your history , finances , personal lifestyle and more to proof to the courts that you are not fit to have possession of the child . Therefore you could lose your child .
However , my sense is that this guy is a "hustler" looking for Europe's greener pature and would not want the commitment of a wife and kid. Therefore he is not likely to contest the divorce. So why not involve him in a "friendly" divorce , and leave the door open for him to stay in touch with his son especially if he is willing to assist financially in raising the boy?
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fee_sweetie



United Kingdom
127 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  11:22:09  Show Profile Send fee_sweetie a Private Message
He wasnt interested in getting a visa to be at my side for the birth, so i sent him a form for him to fill in so his name could be on the birth certificate ( as both parents have to be present at the registration if they are not married)...he chose not to fill the form in so that is why his name is not on my sons birth certificate. I will not hid his idenity from my son and i plan to take regular trips to the gambia so my son learns of his hertiage and gets to know the country his father is from.

"Religion is an insult to human dignity. Without it you'd have good people doing good things + evil people doing evil things but for good people to do evil things it takes religion"- Richard Dawkins
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jambo



3300 Posts

Posted - 30 May 2007 :  11:27:17  Show Profile Send jambo a Private Message
have you left him in UK, or gambia
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