WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Maybe 3. Maybe = No 4. We need... = I want... 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = I need to complain 7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to 8. Do what you want = But you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're dead 11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me 12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs 13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot 14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious 16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever 17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a 18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that ----------
MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = Yes 2. No = No 3. Maybe = Maybe 4. I am hungry = I am hungry 5. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 6. I am tired = I am tired 7. Nice dress = Nice tits 8. I love you = Let's have sex 9. I am bored = Let's have sex 10. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question 11. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 12. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 13. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with 14. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with 15. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other 16. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins. 17. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person - because I'd like to have sex with you. 18. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay